Wow, This Is The Hardest Day So Far!

Today is bad, I am so tired that I can't believe it and to think that my supervisor wanted me to come to work. There is no way that I would have survived it. I have done nothing but sleep today; being on a clear liquid diet isn't helping. Though I am not as hungry as I was yesterday; that is a good thing.

I just pray that tomorrow it happens; I understand that transplants are more important and that any one would get bumped every time, But I don't think I will be able to deal with it if I get bumped again. I have a good feeling about it, but I also have to tell myself that it might happen again. At least some ones life was saved yesterday and that in its self is a good thing. I don't want any one to think that I am selfish or anything because I'm not.

I am just ready to have this stage of the process over so I can start the rest of my life. I can't wait to see myself in 4 months time, they said that I will probably be down a hundred or more pounds because I have already lost 40. It is amazing such a great feeling to think that I lost 40 pounds in 45 days. I can't believe it; I haven't lost weight that fast before. It was also the hardest way that I have ever had to loose weight.

So right now I am just trying to stay positive and not think about having surgery too much. After yesterday the nerves are completely gone (about the surgery that is) now I am only nervous about it not happening again. When ever it happens it is going to be great. Thank you all for your love and support and the encouraging words that you for me. I hope my blog helps every one who reads it, who is struggling with there weight. This has been a life long struggle for me so I know how hard it is. Having this surgery for me is like a dream come true; I have longed to be skinny my whole life and I can't wait too see what I look like a hundred pounds from now. Stayed tuned I will definitely be sharing photos!

I love you all
Ronda G.