Ok I was glad when I got to go back on to food; but let me tell you that I think that I needed more than a day to get used to it. Right now I am so dry and so thirsty that I want to cry, I feel like I need to throw up again and the lord knows that, that really isn’t what I want to do.
I am so dizzy and light headed that, that is probably why I feel the way that I do. Oh I hate this feeling; it is days like this that make me wish I didn’t have the surgery. You know that I really don’t mean that; I am glad that I had the surgery it is really difficult right now and I just have to get through it, and I will get through it.
Right now because I don’t have a lot of energy, I get tired and worn out really easy. I can’t imagine in a million years how I am every going to be able to go to the gym right now and work out with how tiered and light headed I am getting. I think that I may go back to bed a sleep for a little while to see if that will help. Oh and I am not going to eat lunch to day so that I can double up on my water.
I know that is why I am not feeling well; because I ate late in the morning yesterday I didn’t get enough water in. That and we need to change the filter on our ice machine because it taste nasty when it melts and I can’t stand drinking warm water, so there is another reason that I am having a difficult time drinking water right now.
I constantly have a nasty taste in my mouth that I can not get ride of. No matter how many times I brush my teeth; I am pretty sure that it is from surgery and that it will eventually get better but right at the moment it is driving me insane.
Wow! Do I sound happy that I had this surgery or what. I am really am glad I am just really having a hard time right now. I know that it is only going to get better and that life is going to be sweet and rich with rewards from the decision that I have made. Right now it is just getting to that point.
Well I am going to go and get me a bottle of water; get my night gown back on call my boss and let her know that I wont be back to day; and go and crawl back into bed with my sweet hubby and sleep for a little bit longer. That is of course after I drink some more water. I really pray that I do not throw up; I think that it is becoming more inevitable. I hate throwing up; I think that the yogurt that I ate may have been a little off. I’m not sure though.
Well thank you all for reading my blog and for the wonderful post. Yes Jackie I agree when you are here in July we will defiantly go shopping. I think that my Favorite store is Fashion Bug because they carry every size from small girls to plus sizes. That is were I do most of my
shopping.
I love you all
Ronda Gardner
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
A Bad Food Choice…..
Okay, I think that I learned my lesson today. I was out with Mark I needed to eat something because it had been that long since I had eaten; well I decided to get a piece of Grilled Chicken. Okay I didn’t eat that much of the grilled chicken, I took very tiny bits and chewed them until there was nothing left to chew. Needless too say it was too much and it sat heavy in my stomach.
We weren't home so I had to deal with the most horrific stomach ache that I thought that I was going to die. We are talking I felt like I was having a heart ache. It was horrible; when we got home I ran in the house and threw up. Not pleasant and I am going to make sure that I never eat anything that I can’t handle again; I learned my lesson.
So I went to my Dr. Appointment last night and everything went really well. I told him that the nurses told me not to take the stairs and that if I had to, to take them very slow. He told me not too listen too them to take the stairs as many times a day as I wanted to. He told me not to take it easy, he said that the more I got up and did the better that I would feel.
He said that he wanted me to walk two miles in the morning, and then go to the Gym in the afternoon. I was thinking wow you are really trying to kill me. I was thinking that I couldn't do it; but I have noticed that my back isn’t hurting any more, and that my knees are feeling a little better, and getting up and getting around is so much easier than it has been in a long time that I think that I may actually enjoy getting up and exercising.
I think that I am going to try to walk a couple of laps in the morning when I get to work, and then walk at first break for fifteen minute. Then tomorrow night I am going to talk my parents into going down to the gym and signing up so we can start working out. They want me to work out five days a week for fifty minutes.
I really want to be a success at this surgery and I want to loose as much weight as possible. So I am going to do everything that Dr. Belnap tells me too. In fact he told me that the only one of my friends he wants me taking advice from it Jackie because she is a nurse and she has done this before and she doesn’t try to tell me that my surgeon is wrong that I should be doing something different than I am doing.
Right now I am thinking that the exercising is going to be too much, but you know what I know that I can do it. I know that I can do hard things; besides I have one huge motivator, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY! I don’t want to have to have any skin removed, and I am going to try my hardest to prevent it from happening. In fact if there is just a little but I think that I can deal with that. That is something that we are just going to have to wait and see what time brings. This is something that I am not going to worry about right now, I am not going to worry about it until the time comes when it is an issue.
I think that to day has been the worst day since I had surgery, and I am defiantly going to be watching what I eat for the rest of my life.
Oh that was something that I was going to say, my surgeon told me last night that I am only going to be able to eat two ounces indefinitely. They want my stomach to stay as small as it is for as long as possible. I think that is a great idea and I don’t have a problem with that. I love my surgeon and everything that him and his staff has done for me. I hope that some day I can thank him for the new life that he has given me.
I want to thank all of you yet again for all the love and support that every one has give me. It means the world to me; and it has really help me, probably more than any of you will know.
Thank you! I love you all
Ronda Gardner
We weren't home so I had to deal with the most horrific stomach ache that I thought that I was going to die. We are talking I felt like I was having a heart ache. It was horrible; when we got home I ran in the house and threw up. Not pleasant and I am going to make sure that I never eat anything that I can’t handle again; I learned my lesson.
So I went to my Dr. Appointment last night and everything went really well. I told him that the nurses told me not to take the stairs and that if I had to, to take them very slow. He told me not too listen too them to take the stairs as many times a day as I wanted to. He told me not to take it easy, he said that the more I got up and did the better that I would feel.
He said that he wanted me to walk two miles in the morning, and then go to the Gym in the afternoon. I was thinking wow you are really trying to kill me. I was thinking that I couldn't do it; but I have noticed that my back isn’t hurting any more, and that my knees are feeling a little better, and getting up and getting around is so much easier than it has been in a long time that I think that I may actually enjoy getting up and exercising.
I think that I am going to try to walk a couple of laps in the morning when I get to work, and then walk at first break for fifteen minute. Then tomorrow night I am going to talk my parents into going down to the gym and signing up so we can start working out. They want me to work out five days a week for fifty minutes.
I really want to be a success at this surgery and I want to loose as much weight as possible. So I am going to do everything that Dr. Belnap tells me too. In fact he told me that the only one of my friends he wants me taking advice from it Jackie because she is a nurse and she has done this before and she doesn’t try to tell me that my surgeon is wrong that I should be doing something different than I am doing.
Right now I am thinking that the exercising is going to be too much, but you know what I know that I can do it. I know that I can do hard things; besides I have one huge motivator, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY! I don’t want to have to have any skin removed, and I am going to try my hardest to prevent it from happening. In fact if there is just a little but I think that I can deal with that. That is something that we are just going to have to wait and see what time brings. This is something that I am not going to worry about right now, I am not going to worry about it until the time comes when it is an issue.
I think that to day has been the worst day since I had surgery, and I am defiantly going to be watching what I eat for the rest of my life.
Oh that was something that I was going to say, my surgeon told me last night that I am only going to be able to eat two ounces indefinitely. They want my stomach to stay as small as it is for as long as possible. I think that is a great idea and I don’t have a problem with that. I love my surgeon and everything that him and his staff has done for me. I hope that some day I can thank him for the new life that he has given me.
I want to thank all of you yet again for all the love and support that every one has give me. It means the world to me; and it has really help me, probably more than any of you will know.
Thank you! I love you all
Ronda Gardner
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I Did it Again….
I had it all planed out again what I was going to blog about and it slipped my mind. There isn’t even a hint of what I was thinking there.
I have been having some really strange dreams lately; the one night I have a dream that I was eating a sandwich and my sister Sarah (who has become the food Nazi) was yelling at me telling me that I shouldn’t be eating that because it isn’t a clear liquid. Well in the dream I told her that she was stupid and that it was; and then after that I ate some chocolate chip cookies.
That is just but one of the many bizarre dreams that I have had; there was another night I dreamed that I was being chased down the street by water bottles. I think that I had that one because that is all that I think about; I am worried that I am not going to be able to get another water in. but I am up to 64 ounces a day and that is a good thing.
The most upsetting dream that I had was Thursday night; I dreamed that I gained twenty pounds, I didn’t not like that dream. But this morning when I got on the scale I had lost another eleven pounds. I was hoping for another fifteen pounds but I’ll take eleven; I can’t believe that I have already lost sixty eight pounds, since January ninetieth it is absolutely insane but I am not complaining in the least bit.
I have struggled my whole life to loose my weight and now that I am loosing it is mind boggling. I owe so much to Dr, Belnap and his wonderful staff that I have met and had contact with; with have all helped me so much. Vikki and Adam are awesome they all ways gave me the encouragement I needed to keep me going. I couldn’t have asked for a better surgeon. I only wish that I could tell him how much hope he has given me; that I never thought that I would ever be skinny. I have been saying for years that there is a skinny person inside of me trying to get out; but she could never full emerge. There towards the last couple of years that women has felt like she is suffocating and it made me sad.
I had tried everything out there to loose weight. Well not literally everything but nearly; and nothing was a permanent answer. I had the most success on Weight Watchers and even then I had a difficult time maintaining. When my Doctors office referred me to Dr. Belnap it was a god send; even though it took me a couple of months decide to make the phone call and set up an appointment but I eventually did it. I knew that when I made this decision that it was for a life time and I had to make sure that it was right; I prayed a lot about whither or not it was the right thing for me to do. I remember the day that I got my answer it was the first weekend in April; it was conference weekend when I got the answer that yes it was right. I cried I was so overwhelmed.
Well through the following ten months I prayed a lot to help me thr0uhg the long process; I prayed that I would have patients to get to the end. I also prayed that I would do this until he stopped me; well he didn’t stop me. I am glad that I had the surgery; I am glade that I have given my self a new chance at life. I shouldn’t say it that way; heavenly father and Dr. Belnap have given me a new chance at life.
It is up to me to take the tools he has given me and utilize them to the best of my ability and blow every body away. This is my chance and I need to make the best of it; and enjoy the rest of my life. I am excited and can’t wait to be skinny it is going to be a new experience for me. I have never been skinny and it is going to be great.
Thank you all for being here and for all the support that you have given me. I love all of you and I hope that some day I can return all the support that you have given me.
Love
Ronda Gardner
I have been having some really strange dreams lately; the one night I have a dream that I was eating a sandwich and my sister Sarah (who has become the food Nazi) was yelling at me telling me that I shouldn’t be eating that because it isn’t a clear liquid. Well in the dream I told her that she was stupid and that it was; and then after that I ate some chocolate chip cookies.
That is just but one of the many bizarre dreams that I have had; there was another night I dreamed that I was being chased down the street by water bottles. I think that I had that one because that is all that I think about; I am worried that I am not going to be able to get another water in. but I am up to 64 ounces a day and that is a good thing.
The most upsetting dream that I had was Thursday night; I dreamed that I gained twenty pounds, I didn’t not like that dream. But this morning when I got on the scale I had lost another eleven pounds. I was hoping for another fifteen pounds but I’ll take eleven; I can’t believe that I have already lost sixty eight pounds, since January ninetieth it is absolutely insane but I am not complaining in the least bit.
I have struggled my whole life to loose my weight and now that I am loosing it is mind boggling. I owe so much to Dr, Belnap and his wonderful staff that I have met and had contact with; with have all helped me so much. Vikki and Adam are awesome they all ways gave me the encouragement I needed to keep me going. I couldn’t have asked for a better surgeon. I only wish that I could tell him how much hope he has given me; that I never thought that I would ever be skinny. I have been saying for years that there is a skinny person inside of me trying to get out; but she could never full emerge. There towards the last couple of years that women has felt like she is suffocating and it made me sad.
I had tried everything out there to loose weight. Well not literally everything but nearly; and nothing was a permanent answer. I had the most success on Weight Watchers and even then I had a difficult time maintaining. When my Doctors office referred me to Dr. Belnap it was a god send; even though it took me a couple of months decide to make the phone call and set up an appointment but I eventually did it. I knew that when I made this decision that it was for a life time and I had to make sure that it was right; I prayed a lot about whither or not it was the right thing for me to do. I remember the day that I got my answer it was the first weekend in April; it was conference weekend when I got the answer that yes it was right. I cried I was so overwhelmed.
Well through the following ten months I prayed a lot to help me thr0uhg the long process; I prayed that I would have patients to get to the end. I also prayed that I would do this until he stopped me; well he didn’t stop me. I am glad that I had the surgery; I am glade that I have given my self a new chance at life. I shouldn’t say it that way; heavenly father and Dr. Belnap have given me a new chance at life.
It is up to me to take the tools he has given me and utilize them to the best of my ability and blow every body away. This is my chance and I need to make the best of it; and enjoy the rest of my life. I am excited and can’t wait to be skinny it is going to be a new experience for me. I have never been skinny and it is going to be great.
Thank you all for being here and for all the support that you have given me. I love all of you and I hope that some day I can return all the support that you have given me.
Love
Ronda Gardner
Friday, March 28, 2008
My Mind is Blank…..
Yesterday on the way home from the store I knew what I was going to blog about today; and now today that I am blogging it has completely left my little pea brain. I tell you that a Clear Liquid diet kill your brain cells.
Okay I shouldn’t say that because I am not hungry so it doesn’t matter if I can have food or not. It is just hard; it is just hard to get all my water that is the only thing that I am having problems with; and like I said the other day that a lack of water causes lighted headed and dizziness. I am working really hard on that; being at home I just get preoccupied doing other things and forget to drink it. So see this is the other problem that I am having; and I am working on it very hard.
I have noticed the last two weeks that I am cold ALL OF THE TIME; I can not warm up and it only seems to get worse. I think that it is because I am loosing weight so fast that my body can’t regulate its temperature. I wear a sweeter every night while I am in my room with socks and everything. I dread getting undressed and getting into bed but I seems that I warm right up and have no problems.
I went shopping last night with my husband at Target; I got two really cute pair of Capri’s. I got the really cute Chocolate ones that I wanted and I got a really cute white shirt to go with them. Then I got a pair of Green ones with a really cute black shirt to wear with them. The green ones are a size smaller so that they will fit me a little longer. They are really cute I love them; in fact I inherited a pair of pants from my sister Sarah, because she bought them too big and they fall off of her so she can’t wear them. They fit me so she gave them to me; they are really comfortable I like them. Now my only problem is that my G’s are getting too big and they fall off of my shoulders and it is starting to get annoying; so I am going to have to look into that.
Oh life is wonderful and I am so glad to be a live; the changes that are about to happen to me are exciting and I can’t wait too experience them. I am also glad that I have a wonderful friend to help me through the rough patches; she has done this before and she is there for me any time I need her. She called me last night just to see how I was doing and feeling.
Jackie is going to be here in July and I can’t wait until she gets here; I think that it will be a tearful reunion. I can’t wait it is going to be wonderful; I am even more excited because I have never met her family; her husband is coming along with her three beautiful little girls. I can’t wait it is going to be wonderful!
Well I need to go get ready for the day because I am off to see my friends at work for lunch; I am hoping that Dr. Belnap will let me go back to work at least part on Monday. I am feeling really good and think that I am ready to; I am so board that I think that I may go crazy.
I just want to thank everyone who reads my blog every day; thank you for all the love and support that you all give me. It means the world to me and helps me so much; these days are so trying sometimes that I don’t think that I am going to make it through. But I am getting there and everyday it gets easier. I appreciated everything; that you for sharing this exciting journey with me.
I love you all
Ronda Gardner
Okay I shouldn’t say that because I am not hungry so it doesn’t matter if I can have food or not. It is just hard; it is just hard to get all my water that is the only thing that I am having problems with; and like I said the other day that a lack of water causes lighted headed and dizziness. I am working really hard on that; being at home I just get preoccupied doing other things and forget to drink it. So see this is the other problem that I am having; and I am working on it very hard.
I have noticed the last two weeks that I am cold ALL OF THE TIME; I can not warm up and it only seems to get worse. I think that it is because I am loosing weight so fast that my body can’t regulate its temperature. I wear a sweeter every night while I am in my room with socks and everything. I dread getting undressed and getting into bed but I seems that I warm right up and have no problems.
I went shopping last night with my husband at Target; I got two really cute pair of Capri’s. I got the really cute Chocolate ones that I wanted and I got a really cute white shirt to go with them. Then I got a pair of Green ones with a really cute black shirt to wear with them. The green ones are a size smaller so that they will fit me a little longer. They are really cute I love them; in fact I inherited a pair of pants from my sister Sarah, because she bought them too big and they fall off of her so she can’t wear them. They fit me so she gave them to me; they are really comfortable I like them. Now my only problem is that my G’s are getting too big and they fall off of my shoulders and it is starting to get annoying; so I am going to have to look into that.
Oh life is wonderful and I am so glad to be a live; the changes that are about to happen to me are exciting and I can’t wait too experience them. I am also glad that I have a wonderful friend to help me through the rough patches; she has done this before and she is there for me any time I need her. She called me last night just to see how I was doing and feeling.
Jackie is going to be here in July and I can’t wait until she gets here; I think that it will be a tearful reunion. I can’t wait it is going to be wonderful; I am even more excited because I have never met her family; her husband is coming along with her three beautiful little girls. I can’t wait it is going to be wonderful!
Well I need to go get ready for the day because I am off to see my friends at work for lunch; I am hoping that Dr. Belnap will let me go back to work at least part on Monday. I am feeling really good and think that I am ready to; I am so board that I think that I may go crazy.
I just want to thank everyone who reads my blog every day; thank you for all the love and support that you all give me. It means the world to me and helps me so much; these days are so trying sometimes that I don’t think that I am going to make it through. But I am getting there and everyday it gets easier. I appreciated everything; that you for sharing this exciting journey with me.
I love you all
Ronda Gardner
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Still Learning….
Yesterday I felt pretty good; I was a little weak but I have learned that is totally normal. I don’t think that I drank as much water yesterday as I did the day before. I got out of bed this morning light headed; the minute I got out of bed I thought that I was going to pass out, but I only drank forty ounces of water. So today I am going to concentrate on more water. MORE WATER is important!!!!
It is just so hard to get the water you need in when all you can do is sip, you are constantly sipping. Soon my pouch will be able to hold more than two ounces and I think that will make it easier. It is totally bad that I am counting down the days when I start phase two of my life style and can add some proteins to my diet; I honestly think that, that will help me feel better. Three weeks on a liquid diet is about enough to kill some one.. That is weird to say when I am not hungry and it doesn’t even matter.
Some one asked me the other night why I made myself eat if I wasn’t hungry? Well it is easy; I have to have three meals a day, no snacking in between. Right now I am trying to get back on a schedule so I am ready to go back to work. The only thing about phase two that is going to be hard is when you add food to your diet; there is not drinking water a half hour before a meal, during your meal, and for a half hour after your meal. You are supposed to sit for a half hour for a meal too. So are four and a half hours out of the day that you are not allowed to drink anything. That is because if you drink during a meal it washes the food out of the pouch and the food isn’t there as long as they want it too be.
Also when you get to this phase of your life style they want to you think proteins; so if you can have three ounces, they want you to have two ounces of protein and one of vegetable. I am actually very excited that I am going to be able to add vegetable back into my diet. That is the one thing that I have missed this last couple of months; that and fruits. I have always tried to eat healthy but I have not always made great choices.
I was totally a chocoholic before I started this diet with Belnap back in January; but I have not had chocolate since the eighteenth of January and you know it feels great. I have no desire to have it; once in a while I think that I do but I really don’t. I also (Debbie don’t be shocked) haven’t had a Dr. Pepper since that same day. I am feeling great! Chocolate and Dr. Pepper were my two vices and right now I am not sure that I ever want to have chocolate again. I have friends who have had the surgery who eat chocolate and candy now that they are so many years out and I am surprised that they don’t get sick. Well my friend Sami if she eats too much chocolate her body dumps on her and makes her very sick.
Dr. Belnap wants all of us to experience Dumping Syndrome, I have no desire to eat anything that might make me sick. I don’t know we will see right now I cant eat anything right at the moment so I am not worried about it. I plan on having total success on this diet; this is my one chance to loose my weight and I am going to do it. I am going to be fantastic. I CAN’T WAIT!
Well I think that is all that is running around my brain right at the moment. I want to thank you all for the billionth time for all of the love and support that you have given through this time in my life. I am going to try to keep blogging everyday to keep all of you update on my process; how my little brain is working and how I am thinking and feeling. I love you all!
Thank You
Ronda Gardner
It is just so hard to get the water you need in when all you can do is sip, you are constantly sipping. Soon my pouch will be able to hold more than two ounces and I think that will make it easier. It is totally bad that I am counting down the days when I start phase two of my life style and can add some proteins to my diet; I honestly think that, that will help me feel better. Three weeks on a liquid diet is about enough to kill some one.. That is weird to say when I am not hungry and it doesn’t even matter.
Some one asked me the other night why I made myself eat if I wasn’t hungry? Well it is easy; I have to have three meals a day, no snacking in between. Right now I am trying to get back on a schedule so I am ready to go back to work. The only thing about phase two that is going to be hard is when you add food to your diet; there is not drinking water a half hour before a meal, during your meal, and for a half hour after your meal. You are supposed to sit for a half hour for a meal too. So are four and a half hours out of the day that you are not allowed to drink anything. That is because if you drink during a meal it washes the food out of the pouch and the food isn’t there as long as they want it too be.
Also when you get to this phase of your life style they want to you think proteins; so if you can have three ounces, they want you to have two ounces of protein and one of vegetable. I am actually very excited that I am going to be able to add vegetable back into my diet. That is the one thing that I have missed this last couple of months; that and fruits. I have always tried to eat healthy but I have not always made great choices.
I was totally a chocoholic before I started this diet with Belnap back in January; but I have not had chocolate since the eighteenth of January and you know it feels great. I have no desire to have it; once in a while I think that I do but I really don’t. I also (Debbie don’t be shocked) haven’t had a Dr. Pepper since that same day. I am feeling great! Chocolate and Dr. Pepper were my two vices and right now I am not sure that I ever want to have chocolate again. I have friends who have had the surgery who eat chocolate and candy now that they are so many years out and I am surprised that they don’t get sick. Well my friend Sami if she eats too much chocolate her body dumps on her and makes her very sick.
Dr. Belnap wants all of us to experience Dumping Syndrome, I have no desire to eat anything that might make me sick. I don’t know we will see right now I cant eat anything right at the moment so I am not worried about it. I plan on having total success on this diet; this is my one chance to loose my weight and I am going to do it. I am going to be fantastic. I CAN’T WAIT!
Well I think that is all that is running around my brain right at the moment. I want to thank you all for the billionth time for all of the love and support that you have given through this time in my life. I am going to try to keep blogging everyday to keep all of you update on my process; how my little brain is working and how I am thinking and feeling. I love you all!
Thank You
Ronda Gardner
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
this picture was taken on the tenth of March, the day that I was supposed to have surgery.
This picture was taken tonight the twenty sixth of march
I was trying to wear something that fit so that the difference was more noticeable. I am really excited about all the changes that are happening to me. It is very exciting I will keep every one updated on the changes. I don't know if I mentioned this before but I am going to be keeping a photo journal so that I can look back and see the changes that I am going through. It is almost a shame that I have no health problems to watch changes; well I do have sleep apnea and it is going to be nice not to have to sleep on my Cpap machine any more; it will be nice not to snore any more.
Oh and I got good news today, my dads friend own Golds Gym and he asked him what he could do for me with a membership. Well my dad told me tonight that he gave me a FREE year membership and said that he was very proud of me. I am excited, I can't wait to go and start working out.
Well I am off for the night and will check back in tomorrow. Have a wonderful night!
Love you all
Ronda Gardner
Ramblings...
It makes me feel really good when the people are me notice the little changes in me that I have noticed. It makes me extremely happy that I am loosing my but; nothing could be sweeter in the whole world, well other than getting pregnant and I don’t see that happening any time soon; they have encouraged me not to get pregnant for eighteen months.
I went and saw my grandmother this morning for a couple if hours; and it makes me really sad to see how much her health has deteriorated or this past year. She seems to have got so much frailer than she was; her voice is hoarse all of the time and she can barely walk. She waddles like a penguin.
All I know that is I am very happy that my Uncle Dave is out of prison and is there with her taking care of her. I know that she is there alone all day but she has someone there at night to help her. The house looks so different now that he is home; it is comforting.
Well the diet is the same; and I am counting down the days until I can actually have food again. I advance to phase three of my diet on Saturday; then I will add yogurt, cottage cheese, I think string cheese, full soups and v8 juice. It will be nice to have a change.
Last night I could not bare to think of drinking chicken broth again. So I made some French onion soup and strained the onion out of it and drank the both. It made for a nice change.
Oh, I was going to tell you that the nurse practitioner in my doctor’s office called me last night to see how I was from my bypass. It was really nice to talk to some one who had the surgery with the same surgeon I did and to see the great success he has had. He looks fabulous and I can’t wait until I am where he is. It is going to be great.
So I really don’t have a lot to say about the diet today, it is better today than it has been. I feel better today that even yesterday; I don’t know if it is because I started my Magnesium to day, the jar says that it will increase your energy. So we will see about that in the next couple of days.
Thank you all for reading my blog and for all the support you that have given me; it means everything.
Love you all
Ronda Gardner
I went and saw my grandmother this morning for a couple if hours; and it makes me really sad to see how much her health has deteriorated or this past year. She seems to have got so much frailer than she was; her voice is hoarse all of the time and she can barely walk. She waddles like a penguin.
All I know that is I am very happy that my Uncle Dave is out of prison and is there with her taking care of her. I know that she is there alone all day but she has someone there at night to help her. The house looks so different now that he is home; it is comforting.
Well the diet is the same; and I am counting down the days until I can actually have food again. I advance to phase three of my diet on Saturday; then I will add yogurt, cottage cheese, I think string cheese, full soups and v8 juice. It will be nice to have a change.
Last night I could not bare to think of drinking chicken broth again. So I made some French onion soup and strained the onion out of it and drank the both. It made for a nice change.
Oh, I was going to tell you that the nurse practitioner in my doctor’s office called me last night to see how I was from my bypass. It was really nice to talk to some one who had the surgery with the same surgeon I did and to see the great success he has had. He looks fabulous and I can’t wait until I am where he is. It is going to be great.
So I really don’t have a lot to say about the diet today, it is better today than it has been. I feel better today that even yesterday; I don’t know if it is because I started my Magnesium to day, the jar says that it will increase your energy. So we will see about that in the next couple of days.
Thank you all for reading my blog and for all the support you that have given me; it means everything.
Love you all
Ronda Gardner
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
My World is Spinning..
The last few days I have not been feeling well at all. It isn’t from surgery, well I guess that in a way that it is; but I have been really light headed and dizzy. Well apparently that is normal. I went on my surgeons website and everything is there. This is what it says about being light headed and dizzy.
“Dizziness: This occurs because the body eliminates large amounts of water and salt during weight loss. One benefit of weight loss is that it lowers blood pressure, but it can become a problem if light headedness develops. To avoid this problem, increase your fluid intake. Sip water frequently throughout the day. Carry a water bottle with you.”
I have also been extremely fatigued the last few days and that is normal as well. Here is what is says about that.
“Fatigue: You are consuming fewer calories that your body is accustomed to. You may feel more tired, weak, or have a lack of energy. Make sure you are sleeping at least eight hours a night. Do not skip meals. Inadequate hydration will affect energy levels. Make certain that you are getting 50 minutes of exercise at least five times a week. Exercise restores energy in most individuals. “
These are the two major things that I am dealing with right at the moment. You know it makes it really hard to want to get up and exercise; but I try to do what I can. Yesterday by the time that we left Wal-mart I was so light headed that I almost had to have my husband help me out of the store. I didn’t though because I have to be strong and I have to get over it. I need to start doing the things that will help me more.
So I am trying to up my water intake, since I got up this morning I have had four ounces of water. I can’t believe how hard it is to get your thirty six ounces of water a day when all you can do is sip. And I my self am use to drinking well over sixty four ounces a day. I have to admit though that is really very nice that I am no longer hungry. That just blows me away; it is a nice feeling.
Oh the other thing that I have noticed since I started working with Dr. Belnaps office that since I cut sugar completely out of my diet I can no longer stand that taste of it. My mother made me a cup of Herbal Tea the other night and put a small teaspoon of Sweet and low in it and it was so sweet that I could not drink it. So Sunday evening I made my self cup of tea I didn’t put any kind of sugar or sweetener in it and I could drink it and it tasted really good. I never thought that I would see the day that I could not stand any thing with sugar in it. I can’t believe that I will never be able to eat chocolate again. Oh well I guess that is a good thing isn’t it.
I have a story to share with all of you. Since my husband and I got married we have had the same home teacher. His name is Chad Worthen. I love Chad and Mikael they are very sweet people. Well Chad had been there for me through this whole process; in fact on the twentieth of January he came over and gave me a blessing. I was the most beautiful blessing I have ever received. Well any ways he came over again the night before I had surgery and helped me give me another one. He is just an amazing man; Well to get to my point last night while they were out on there walk they stopped by to see how we are doing and if there was anything that they could do for us. I told them that we were doing really good and that we were okay. Well they gave us a card and a copy of this months ensign and told me that if we needed anything to let them know. I thanked them and told them that I would and they left.
Well I went down stairs to rescue my husband from the dreaded Hallie Monster who was in our room playing on the computer. I opened the card to read what it said about started crying. Inside the card was a fifty dollar gift certificate for Target to help to build my new wardrobe. I was very touched by this kindness I was beside my self. So I need to send them a thank you card because I am just in awe.
I guess that there comes a point in your life when you realize who really is your friend; and then there are those people that just go above and beyond any thing that you would expect of them. I am so grateful to have two people like the Worthen’s in my life they are amazingly wonderful people. I really need to let them know. So today I guess that Mark and I are going shopping; there is a really cute pair of Capri’s at Target that I wanted so I guess that I am going to go buy them
I want to thank all of you for your continuing support I am glad that you are hear on this wonderful journey with me.
I love you all
Thank you
Ronda Gardner
“Dizziness: This occurs because the body eliminates large amounts of water and salt during weight loss. One benefit of weight loss is that it lowers blood pressure, but it can become a problem if light headedness develops. To avoid this problem, increase your fluid intake. Sip water frequently throughout the day. Carry a water bottle with you.”
I have also been extremely fatigued the last few days and that is normal as well. Here is what is says about that.
“Fatigue: You are consuming fewer calories that your body is accustomed to. You may feel more tired, weak, or have a lack of energy. Make sure you are sleeping at least eight hours a night. Do not skip meals. Inadequate hydration will affect energy levels. Make certain that you are getting 50 minutes of exercise at least five times a week. Exercise restores energy in most individuals. “
These are the two major things that I am dealing with right at the moment. You know it makes it really hard to want to get up and exercise; but I try to do what I can. Yesterday by the time that we left Wal-mart I was so light headed that I almost had to have my husband help me out of the store. I didn’t though because I have to be strong and I have to get over it. I need to start doing the things that will help me more.
So I am trying to up my water intake, since I got up this morning I have had four ounces of water. I can’t believe how hard it is to get your thirty six ounces of water a day when all you can do is sip. And I my self am use to drinking well over sixty four ounces a day. I have to admit though that is really very nice that I am no longer hungry. That just blows me away; it is a nice feeling.
Oh the other thing that I have noticed since I started working with Dr. Belnaps office that since I cut sugar completely out of my diet I can no longer stand that taste of it. My mother made me a cup of Herbal Tea the other night and put a small teaspoon of Sweet and low in it and it was so sweet that I could not drink it. So Sunday evening I made my self cup of tea I didn’t put any kind of sugar or sweetener in it and I could drink it and it tasted really good. I never thought that I would see the day that I could not stand any thing with sugar in it. I can’t believe that I will never be able to eat chocolate again. Oh well I guess that is a good thing isn’t it.
I have a story to share with all of you. Since my husband and I got married we have had the same home teacher. His name is Chad Worthen. I love Chad and Mikael they are very sweet people. Well Chad had been there for me through this whole process; in fact on the twentieth of January he came over and gave me a blessing. I was the most beautiful blessing I have ever received. Well any ways he came over again the night before I had surgery and helped me give me another one. He is just an amazing man; Well to get to my point last night while they were out on there walk they stopped by to see how we are doing and if there was anything that they could do for us. I told them that we were doing really good and that we were okay. Well they gave us a card and a copy of this months ensign and told me that if we needed anything to let them know. I thanked them and told them that I would and they left.
Well I went down stairs to rescue my husband from the dreaded Hallie Monster who was in our room playing on the computer. I opened the card to read what it said about started crying. Inside the card was a fifty dollar gift certificate for Target to help to build my new wardrobe. I was very touched by this kindness I was beside my self. So I need to send them a thank you card because I am just in awe.
I guess that there comes a point in your life when you realize who really is your friend; and then there are those people that just go above and beyond any thing that you would expect of them. I am so grateful to have two people like the Worthen’s in my life they are amazingly wonderful people. I really need to let them know. So today I guess that Mark and I are going shopping; there is a really cute pair of Capri’s at Target that I wanted so I guess that I am going to go buy them
I want to thank all of you for your continuing support I am glad that you are hear on this wonderful journey with me.
I love you all
Thank you
Ronda Gardner
Monday, March 24, 2008
Crazy Ramblings…….
I love using my moms laptop because it has some really fun fonts on it; and it is just a really good notebook. I actually didn’t think that I was going to like Vista but you know its not a bad program at all once you learn how to use it.
So I am starting to get back to every day life! Yesterday while my family sat down to dinner (because some times they are hard on me) Mark and I went for a drive. I need to start getting my self a round more independently and riding in the car is not comfortable but it is something that needs to be done. It actually wasn’t that bad. Now going with my sister on Friday was really uncomfortable; she has a Chevy Cavalier and they are rather small and not a lot of stretching room. I was very cramped in the front seat.
My car on the other hand is a Chevy Malibu and it is quit a bit bigger and I was a little more comfortable in my car than my sisters. It wasn’t bad; now if the city would just start getting all of the craters in the road fixed it would be that much better. But I am sure that soon it isn’t even going to matter because I am not going to notice the difference.
Last night I also slept all night in my bad and it was wonderful. I am going to try to continue to sleep in my own bed. I know that they said to be careful taking the stairs; and I am, I take them very slowly. Besides walking up and down the stairs gives me a good work out.
Speaking of working out; I think that I am going to brave the treadmill this morning. I don’t like it but I need to do something to get a better work out. I mean I am getting a good work out; there were a couple of days last week that I think I pushed it too far; after wards I was really sick and light headed, so the goal is to take it a little slower. We will see how it goes this week.
I am thinking about joining Golds Gym after I am six weeks out from surgery and start lifting and toning. I want to do everything in my power to help my skin shrink back to normal. Well my father was telling me that he knows one of the owners and he would talk to him and see if they can give us a deal; he has said once before that he would. That would be so nice if they could. My dad takes car of his golf cart maintenance.
One thing about this surgery is that every one keeps telling me that exercising is going to become a hobby and a pass time and I am having a hard time believing that. Maybe after I loose another fifty pounds I will feel differently. I remember that there was a time a few years back that I could get on our exercise bike and ride it for an hour and would feel absolutely wonderful afterwards. I am looking forward to that again.
The future is so exciting to me now; I can’t wait to see what a year brings. I think that I know what I am going to be getting for Christmas this year; a lot of my clothes are already too big and I don’t know what I am going to do. I can’t go to the DI’s yet because they don’t carry allot of clothes in my size. So I may have to go hit the clearance racks. Its not like I need shorts; I can’t wear them to work unless they are Capri’s. I mean soon I can start raiding Sarah’s closet but she has a lot of nice and fancy tank tops that I can’t wear because I wear garments, So I will figure something out. I think that I do have a few pair of pants that I can still wear.
Well I am going to run; literally on the treadmill. Well maybe only walk; stay posted I am sure that I will have some more crazy ramblings for tomorrow. My mind is constantly going a hundred miles a minute. Thank you for reading my blog and for all the love and support. Your all great!
Love
Ronda Gardner
So I am starting to get back to every day life! Yesterday while my family sat down to dinner (because some times they are hard on me) Mark and I went for a drive. I need to start getting my self a round more independently and riding in the car is not comfortable but it is something that needs to be done. It actually wasn’t that bad. Now going with my sister on Friday was really uncomfortable; she has a Chevy Cavalier and they are rather small and not a lot of stretching room. I was very cramped in the front seat.
My car on the other hand is a Chevy Malibu and it is quit a bit bigger and I was a little more comfortable in my car than my sisters. It wasn’t bad; now if the city would just start getting all of the craters in the road fixed it would be that much better. But I am sure that soon it isn’t even going to matter because I am not going to notice the difference.
Last night I also slept all night in my bad and it was wonderful. I am going to try to continue to sleep in my own bed. I know that they said to be careful taking the stairs; and I am, I take them very slowly. Besides walking up and down the stairs gives me a good work out.
Speaking of working out; I think that I am going to brave the treadmill this morning. I don’t like it but I need to do something to get a better work out. I mean I am getting a good work out; there were a couple of days last week that I think I pushed it too far; after wards I was really sick and light headed, so the goal is to take it a little slower. We will see how it goes this week.
I am thinking about joining Golds Gym after I am six weeks out from surgery and start lifting and toning. I want to do everything in my power to help my skin shrink back to normal. Well my father was telling me that he knows one of the owners and he would talk to him and see if they can give us a deal; he has said once before that he would. That would be so nice if they could. My dad takes car of his golf cart maintenance.
One thing about this surgery is that every one keeps telling me that exercising is going to become a hobby and a pass time and I am having a hard time believing that. Maybe after I loose another fifty pounds I will feel differently. I remember that there was a time a few years back that I could get on our exercise bike and ride it for an hour and would feel absolutely wonderful afterwards. I am looking forward to that again.
The future is so exciting to me now; I can’t wait to see what a year brings. I think that I know what I am going to be getting for Christmas this year; a lot of my clothes are already too big and I don’t know what I am going to do. I can’t go to the DI’s yet because they don’t carry allot of clothes in my size. So I may have to go hit the clearance racks. Its not like I need shorts; I can’t wear them to work unless they are Capri’s. I mean soon I can start raiding Sarah’s closet but she has a lot of nice and fancy tank tops that I can’t wear because I wear garments, So I will figure something out. I think that I do have a few pair of pants that I can still wear.
Well I am going to run; literally on the treadmill. Well maybe only walk; stay posted I am sure that I will have some more crazy ramblings for tomorrow. My mind is constantly going a hundred miles a minute. Thank you for reading my blog and for all the love and support. Your all great!
Love
Ronda Gardner
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Meet Dr Belnap......
Dr. Belnap, a native of Salt Lake City, has been a general surgeon in the Rocky Mountain area since 1981. He is regarded as a knowledgeable and accomplished technical surgeon by his peers. Dr. Belnap's interest in the problem of obesity began with his surgical residency in 1974. He received extensive training in obesity and gastric bypass surgery at the University of Minnesota and University of Utah-LDS Hospital programs. His experience with surgery for obesity approaches thirty years involving thousands of cases. His area of expertise not only includes obesity surgery, but also organ transplantation and upper abdominal cancer. Because of his vast experience, difficult cases are referred to Dr. Belnap by physicians throughout the western United States.
Dr. Belnap graduated with highest academic honors from Dartmouth College and was awarded a scholarship to study philosophy in Europe. Thereafter, he began his medical career, studying at the University of Utah, University of Minnesota, University of California and the University of Pittsburgh. This varied experience provided him with training by some of America's greatest surgeons. He and his partner Dr Van der Werf are currently the only surgeons in the intermountain area whom perform liver and pancreas transplantation. Dr. Belnap has been an invited professor of surgery at Columbia University and is currently a clinical professor of surgery at the University of Utah-LDS Hospital program. Although he receives many offers at universities throughout the United States, he prefers the intermountain area.
He is board certified and is a member of many medical societies including the American College of Surgeons, the American Society for Bariatric Surgery, and the American Society of Transplant Surgeons. He is a recipient of the American Cancer Society Humanitarian award, given for compassionate care toward patients. His extensive surgical background benefits those patients he serves and makes him one of the most consulted surgeons in Utah. As one of his students stated "He can fix almost anything".
Although his greatest love is surgery, Dr. Belnap enjoys skiing, mountain biking and fly-fishing. He is a founding member of the Snowbird ski patrol and loves chocolate chip cookies. (Hint Hint. No Walnuts, he is allergic).
"Why do I perform both organ transplantation and gastric bypass surgery? Both procedures give these patients new life and new hope. I am more than rewarded by the change in their lives."
Sleeping Better…..
I have been trying to sleep lying down; because sleeping sitting up very difficult. I would wake up every two hours and then not be able to go back to sleep for an hour or so.
So I have been trying the stairs a little bit; it doesn’t actually hurt to walk up and down them, but if I take them two many times a day then my tummy muscles ache a bit. I have been sleeping a little bit in my bed with my husband; I really miss having his warm body beside me, but I do start hurting towards morning from all the moving and wiggling. I stay down there until I have to get up and go to the bathroom and then I come upstairs and sleep the rest of the night.
I think that tomorrow after my husband gets up I am going to go down and have him help me get the laundry done. He will have to get things in and out of the washer and dryer and I will fold everything and put it away. He is really good at helping me; I will get up some mornings and he will have done some because we are out of under ware and I am a bad wife and wont feel like doing laundry. He is wonderful I love him a lot even though at times it is had to see.
I can not wait until I can sleep in my bed every night and have it not hurt. It is the little simple things in life that I am having a difficult time with right now. I am so excited and happy that I have already lost fifteen pounds; that is absolutely insane. I can’t act like I didn’t know that this was going to happen; because I did I watched my Best Friend Jackie transform in front of me.
She lives in Michigan and so it is still rather strange to see her; because she is my Jackie but at the same time isn’t. I love her more than anything and she is my inspiration for this surgery; she is the one that planted the seed inside me six years ago, but I had to wait until the time was right for me; I needed to make sure that I was ready for the change that I was going to be under going.
The change is huge, I have learned so much about my self. I didn’t realize that I was as strong as I am and it blows my mind. I am glad that I have had the chance to learn these things about my self. It has been a great experience and I will let you guys know about every change that happens.
Thank you for all the love and support. It is much appreciated and I want all of you to know that I love all of you very much.
Ronda Gardner
So I have been trying the stairs a little bit; it doesn’t actually hurt to walk up and down them, but if I take them two many times a day then my tummy muscles ache a bit. I have been sleeping a little bit in my bed with my husband; I really miss having his warm body beside me, but I do start hurting towards morning from all the moving and wiggling. I stay down there until I have to get up and go to the bathroom and then I come upstairs and sleep the rest of the night.
I think that tomorrow after my husband gets up I am going to go down and have him help me get the laundry done. He will have to get things in and out of the washer and dryer and I will fold everything and put it away. He is really good at helping me; I will get up some mornings and he will have done some because we are out of under ware and I am a bad wife and wont feel like doing laundry. He is wonderful I love him a lot even though at times it is had to see.
I can not wait until I can sleep in my bed every night and have it not hurt. It is the little simple things in life that I am having a difficult time with right now. I am so excited and happy that I have already lost fifteen pounds; that is absolutely insane. I can’t act like I didn’t know that this was going to happen; because I did I watched my Best Friend Jackie transform in front of me.
She lives in Michigan and so it is still rather strange to see her; because she is my Jackie but at the same time isn’t. I love her more than anything and she is my inspiration for this surgery; she is the one that planted the seed inside me six years ago, but I had to wait until the time was right for me; I needed to make sure that I was ready for the change that I was going to be under going.
The change is huge, I have learned so much about my self. I didn’t realize that I was as strong as I am and it blows my mind. I am glad that I have had the chance to learn these things about my self. It has been a great experience and I will let you guys know about every change that happens.
Thank you for all the love and support. It is much appreciated and I want all of you to know that I love all of you very much.
Ronda Gardner
Saturday, March 22, 2008
WOW......Is all I Can Say!
Okay earlier today I posted and said that I wasn't sure at all if I had lost any weight. Well This after noon my mom, dad, Mark and I rode up to Target to see if they had the Biggest Loser Scale; well they did and it was even on sale so I went ahead and bought it. Well I got home got it out of the box and couldn't wait until next Saturday to find out how much I have lost, so I got on the scale and I almost started crying.
Since the day of surgery, one week I have gone down fifteen pounds. I was so excited; so I am taking back what I said earlier I am excited to see what the next month brings and how much weight that I am actually going to loose.
I just wanted to share my good news with every one.
Ronda
Since the day of surgery, one week I have gone down fifteen pounds. I was so excited; so I am taking back what I said earlier I am excited to see what the next month brings and how much weight that I am actually going to loose.
I just wanted to share my good news with every one.
Ronda
Yesterday Was a Bad Day…..
I don’t know if I over did it going down stairs with my husband and sleeping for a little while, or if it was my shopping adventure with my sister, but yesterday while we were at wal-mart I got really sick; kind of light headed and dizzy. I almost collapsed once and believe me falling is one of my biggest fears. I don’t want to hurt my self; and that is exactly what would happen.
So I ended up not feeling good the rest of the day; since I had already gotten my hour and mile in so I laid in the recliner and took a bit of a nap and just rested. I need to go to Target today; they have the biggest looser scale and I am thinking about going over and buying it so I can weigh at home every week. So I don’t have to run to St. Marks hospital every time I want to weigh. The fifteen dollars I would spend on the scale would save a lot of money on gas.
I have to tell you that I am very curious about how much I have lost of any yet. For some reason I have a feeling that this isn’t going to work for me; but I am only a week out and haven’t seen any weight loss yet, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t any I haven’t weighed.
My sister Sarah knows a lady that has a friend who had the surgery about three days before me and she has lost about twenty five pounds, which is all possible. I am a week out from surgery yesterday and they told me about thirty pounds my first two weeks and that would put her at a week and a half.
So I am going to talk to my husband about the scale; my mom told me she wouldn’t mind buying the more expensive one and so we are going to go in together. That would still be fifteen dollar a piece and that isn’t bad, but I want to talk to my husband before I do it. And if we go to Target I will get my walking in for the day too. It is nicer to walk around inside a store than being chased down the street by a nasty vial little chi Wawa. I am not afraid of dogs but I hate that dog; in fact they have been warned about letting it run loose; so instead of keeping it on a chain when it is out side, they wait until the neighbor hood is in bed and they let it run wild. One of these days it is going to get hit by a car; and I’m afraid that it isn’t going to be an accident.
Well I don’t really have a lot to say today; thank you all for reading my blog and sharing this incredible journey with me; it means a lot to me.
Love
Ronda Gardner
So I ended up not feeling good the rest of the day; since I had already gotten my hour and mile in so I laid in the recliner and took a bit of a nap and just rested. I need to go to Target today; they have the biggest looser scale and I am thinking about going over and buying it so I can weigh at home every week. So I don’t have to run to St. Marks hospital every time I want to weigh. The fifteen dollars I would spend on the scale would save a lot of money on gas.
I have to tell you that I am very curious about how much I have lost of any yet. For some reason I have a feeling that this isn’t going to work for me; but I am only a week out and haven’t seen any weight loss yet, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t any I haven’t weighed.
My sister Sarah knows a lady that has a friend who had the surgery about three days before me and she has lost about twenty five pounds, which is all possible. I am a week out from surgery yesterday and they told me about thirty pounds my first two weeks and that would put her at a week and a half.
So I am going to talk to my husband about the scale; my mom told me she wouldn’t mind buying the more expensive one and so we are going to go in together. That would still be fifteen dollar a piece and that isn’t bad, but I want to talk to my husband before I do it. And if we go to Target I will get my walking in for the day too. It is nicer to walk around inside a store than being chased down the street by a nasty vial little chi Wawa. I am not afraid of dogs but I hate that dog; in fact they have been warned about letting it run loose; so instead of keeping it on a chain when it is out side, they wait until the neighbor hood is in bed and they let it run wild. One of these days it is going to get hit by a car; and I’m afraid that it isn’t going to be an accident.
Well I don’t really have a lot to say today; thank you all for reading my blog and sharing this incredible journey with me; it means a lot to me.
Love
Ronda Gardner
Friday, March 21, 2008
I'm Going Insane.....
My incisions itch so bad today and late last night that I think that I am going to loose my mind. I try to very lightly rub them and then they just ache; so I am trying to leave them alone all together. I am concerned that some of my tapes are already about to come off and they told me that they wouldn’t for two to three weeks. So I need to call the surgeons office and ask about that. I am most concerned about the drainage hole incision because that one never had an staples or anything; it was an open wound with tape on it when I came home from the hospital and besides that It has been draining.
I was bad again last night I went down stairs and slept in my bed for a little while with my hubby; I need to be close to him. It is hard because it has been a week since surgery and I just need his touch; even if it is just holding my hand I have felt apart from him this past week. He would call me in the hospital just to talk to me; to see how I was doing and to tell me that he loved me.
I think that this hasn’t been as hard on him; but it has taken its toll. He seems very protective, well I don’t know if I would say protective of me but he just seems to be a little more aware of me and things that I am doing and not letting me over do anything. I love him and I know that he loves me, and I know that this surgery is the best thing that I could have ever done for my self; but it has been hard. I am so glad that I have him beside me holding my hand and encouraging me through this because I don’t think that I make it with out him right now. I love him more than I think he is aware of and I hope that he realizes that. He is my world.
Well I am going to cut this one short today; I get to leave the house! YEAH!!!!!! I haven’t been out since Sunday and that wasn’t a pleasant journey; I didn’t feel well and I was freezing my butt off. I am looking forward to Easter shopping with my sister, and getting my walking in for the day.
I will post again tomorrow; and thank you all for reading my blog; I know that at times they might seem tedious and repetitive but hopefully once I can start weighing there will be more exciting things to say. Right now the transition period is just rather difficult and I am so glad that I have Jackie to share these feeling with; because at one time she went through the same things, and felt the same way and it makes me happy to know that I am not the only one to go through this. Well so much for keeping it short. I love you all and thank you again for all the love, support and prayers that you have sent my way. God Bless you all, you are angels.
I was bad again last night I went down stairs and slept in my bed for a little while with my hubby; I need to be close to him. It is hard because it has been a week since surgery and I just need his touch; even if it is just holding my hand I have felt apart from him this past week. He would call me in the hospital just to talk to me; to see how I was doing and to tell me that he loved me.
I think that this hasn’t been as hard on him; but it has taken its toll. He seems very protective, well I don’t know if I would say protective of me but he just seems to be a little more aware of me and things that I am doing and not letting me over do anything. I love him and I know that he loves me, and I know that this surgery is the best thing that I could have ever done for my self; but it has been hard. I am so glad that I have him beside me holding my hand and encouraging me through this because I don’t think that I make it with out him right now. I love him more than I think he is aware of and I hope that he realizes that. He is my world.
Well I am going to cut this one short today; I get to leave the house! YEAH!!!!!! I haven’t been out since Sunday and that wasn’t a pleasant journey; I didn’t feel well and I was freezing my butt off. I am looking forward to Easter shopping with my sister, and getting my walking in for the day.
I will post again tomorrow; and thank you all for reading my blog; I know that at times they might seem tedious and repetitive but hopefully once I can start weighing there will be more exciting things to say. Right now the transition period is just rather difficult and I am so glad that I have Jackie to share these feeling with; because at one time she went through the same things, and felt the same way and it makes me happy to know that I am not the only one to go through this. Well so much for keeping it short. I love you all and thank you again for all the love, support and prayers that you have sent my way. God Bless you all, you are angels.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Nice Change…..
I called the surgeons office on Monday and was asking some questions about my diet and what I can’t and can have. There are still a few things that I am confused about. They mailed me some information about the diet and where I should be every few weeks when things change and all that fun stuff. Well as I was reading for weeks one and two; I noticed that I can have carnation sugar free instant breakfast and sugar free popsicles.
It was so nice to actually get up this morning and have something for breakfast, for breakfast instead of forcing my self to drink some chicken broth and jello. It was like heaven; I know that it sounds weird but it was very nice.
Yesterday was an emotional day for me, I received several phone calls and emails mails that touched me to the point of tears. I am so grateful to the friends and family who are completely support of me and my decision to have this surgery. I can not imagine what it would be like to be one of those people who has no one there for them through such a life changing experience. This I hard enough on its own with out love and support of those whom you care about greatly.
I have to be honest with every one: I thought that this was going to be a lot easier that it is. I think that I was too cocky going into this; I thought that because I have so many friends who have done this, and that because I have talked to a lot of people and read a lot of books that I was prepared for what ever this surgery would bring. Well…..I was definitely wrong. I was not ready for the changes that my body was going to go under, I wasn’t prepared for all the emotions that I was going to be over whelmed with.
While I was preparing for the surgery I did learn a lot about myself. I did not know that I was as strong as I ended up being, I learned that I had a lot more power than I thought I had. I have also grown spiritually as well as mentally; even though I am having a hard time dealing with some of my emotions right at the moment.
I fell fantastic right no; I haven’t felt this good in a long time and I am excited at the thought that it is only going to get better. I am excited about what the future holds; I wait to start seeing the changes in my self, I cant wait to see the weight start melting off. I
cant wait to be skinny! I know that I have said this before and I will said probably a million more times, I can not wait to be skinny.
I want to thank every one for all there thoughts and prayers; they have been felt and appreciated more than you can know. I am so very fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family who are there for me. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart I hope that some day I can repay all of you for your kindness and love. You are all the greatest!
Love
Ronda Gardner
It was so nice to actually get up this morning and have something for breakfast, for breakfast instead of forcing my self to drink some chicken broth and jello. It was like heaven; I know that it sounds weird but it was very nice.
Yesterday was an emotional day for me, I received several phone calls and emails mails that touched me to the point of tears. I am so grateful to the friends and family who are completely support of me and my decision to have this surgery. I can not imagine what it would be like to be one of those people who has no one there for them through such a life changing experience. This I hard enough on its own with out love and support of those whom you care about greatly.
I have to be honest with every one: I thought that this was going to be a lot easier that it is. I think that I was too cocky going into this; I thought that because I have so many friends who have done this, and that because I have talked to a lot of people and read a lot of books that I was prepared for what ever this surgery would bring. Well…..I was definitely wrong. I was not ready for the changes that my body was going to go under, I wasn’t prepared for all the emotions that I was going to be over whelmed with.
While I was preparing for the surgery I did learn a lot about myself. I did not know that I was as strong as I ended up being, I learned that I had a lot more power than I thought I had. I have also grown spiritually as well as mentally; even though I am having a hard time dealing with some of my emotions right at the moment.
I fell fantastic right no; I haven’t felt this good in a long time and I am excited at the thought that it is only going to get better. I am excited about what the future holds; I wait to start seeing the changes in my self, I cant wait to see the weight start melting off. I
cant wait to be skinny! I know that I have said this before and I will said probably a million more times, I can not wait to be skinny.
I want to thank every one for all there thoughts and prayers; they have been felt and appreciated more than you can know. I am so very fortunate to have so many wonderful friends and family who are there for me. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart I hope that some day I can repay all of you for your kindness and love. You are all the greatest!
Love
Ronda Gardner
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Another Day......
It is really weird…..but I Was afraid that this was going to be harder than it is. Well it is hard but it is doable. It still amazes me that such a little but of food makes me satisfied; well I guess that you really can’t say satisfied when you really aren’t hungry to begin with. But we are taught to not miss meals because it starts bad habits all over again.
I had a lady that I work with tell me that if this surgery works for me then she will think about having it done. I just looked at her for a minute then I told her that, it isn’t a question of “IF” the surgery works for me, because it will work for me. The questions is, am I going to work for the surgery. It is all up to me. I was highly confident of my self when I went in to this; I went in with my eyes wide open , but it is just A little harder then I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE.
No I don’t think that I want to say harder, I think that it is hard because the week that I had surgery I was on a clear liquid diet and wasn’t able to eat any meals at all. That was by my choice in the end of course. Any of you out there who has had to have a bowl-prep can appreciate why I “did not” want to do it again.
The only thing that I am truly finding challenging right now is getting enough water in for the day, I am supposed to be working my way up to sixty four ounces a day. HA HA HA that is very funny. Esp. when you can only take sips and about an ounce of water every fifteen minutes. My friend Laureen who had the surgery back in December is up too one hundred ounces a day; she is all so drinking from the moment she gets out if bad until the moment until she goes to bed and some during the night.
It is funny about the only thing I notice any more is food! Food plays such an important roll in all of our lives. The one thing that I learned going through this process is that we need to learn how to use food to sustain us through life. We as human beings use food to celebrate everything. The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, a marriage, our child getting good grades in school. Anniversary and birthdays. Food is connected to Everything good, happy and positive in our lives, when really all we need is enough food to sustain us through the day, and that is what they are teaching me. When I am finally able to eat a normal meal, that meal will be the size of a kids meal. Portion size is about three times bigger than it should be. I have to tell you watching some people eat makes me think that they are pigs because of the way that we are raised and the eating habits that people pick up.
But that is because I eat so little, two ounces at every meal is all that my delicate new stomach can handle at the moment. Too be honest with you there are people in my life when they see me eat for the first time are going to tell me that there is no way that I am eating nearly enough to sustain myself. So I will be given a bad time, but you know what I am not about to let it bother me one bit.
I am sorry that I am just babbling on about this, it is what I am thinking about right now. Ever since I went to enrichment meeting last night I have been doing nothing but thinking about food and how I need to eat a big meal because I haven’t eating in a week and a half and how it would be nice to have just a little bit of chocolate and how it wont kill me. In all actuality it might kill me and I don’t want to explain to Dr. Belnap why I am sick. I know that the things that I am thinking are all in my head and they will eventually pass. It is my wiring, my way of thinking.
Well I am going to go and stop rambling on about food, so I can stop thinking about it. Will post again tomorrow and hopefully I will having something more important to talk about, until then
Ciao
Ronda Gardner
I had a lady that I work with tell me that if this surgery works for me then she will think about having it done. I just looked at her for a minute then I told her that, it isn’t a question of “IF” the surgery works for me, because it will work for me. The questions is, am I going to work for the surgery. It is all up to me. I was highly confident of my self when I went in to this; I went in with my eyes wide open , but it is just A little harder then I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE.
No I don’t think that I want to say harder, I think that it is hard because the week that I had surgery I was on a clear liquid diet and wasn’t able to eat any meals at all. That was by my choice in the end of course. Any of you out there who has had to have a bowl-prep can appreciate why I “did not” want to do it again.
The only thing that I am truly finding challenging right now is getting enough water in for the day, I am supposed to be working my way up to sixty four ounces a day. HA HA HA that is very funny. Esp. when you can only take sips and about an ounce of water every fifteen minutes. My friend Laureen who had the surgery back in December is up too one hundred ounces a day; she is all so drinking from the moment she gets out if bad until the moment until she goes to bed and some during the night.
It is funny about the only thing I notice any more is food! Food plays such an important roll in all of our lives. The one thing that I learned going through this process is that we need to learn how to use food to sustain us through life. We as human beings use food to celebrate everything. The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, a marriage, our child getting good grades in school. Anniversary and birthdays. Food is connected to Everything good, happy and positive in our lives, when really all we need is enough food to sustain us through the day, and that is what they are teaching me. When I am finally able to eat a normal meal, that meal will be the size of a kids meal. Portion size is about three times bigger than it should be. I have to tell you watching some people eat makes me think that they are pigs because of the way that we are raised and the eating habits that people pick up.
But that is because I eat so little, two ounces at every meal is all that my delicate new stomach can handle at the moment. Too be honest with you there are people in my life when they see me eat for the first time are going to tell me that there is no way that I am eating nearly enough to sustain myself. So I will be given a bad time, but you know what I am not about to let it bother me one bit.
I am sorry that I am just babbling on about this, it is what I am thinking about right now. Ever since I went to enrichment meeting last night I have been doing nothing but thinking about food and how I need to eat a big meal because I haven’t eating in a week and a half and how it would be nice to have just a little bit of chocolate and how it wont kill me. In all actuality it might kill me and I don’t want to explain to Dr. Belnap why I am sick. I know that the things that I am thinking are all in my head and they will eventually pass. It is my wiring, my way of thinking.
Well I am going to go and stop rambling on about food, so I can stop thinking about it. Will post again tomorrow and hopefully I will having something more important to talk about, until then
Ciao
Ronda Gardner
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
My New Life….
Well I am going to try and take over for my self; which means that I am going against Doctors orders I am not supposed to be climbing stairs. I will take the slow and if it takes me fifteen minutes to climb them then that is okay. So let me update all of you on my adventure.
Friday when they rolled me away from my family I almost started crying. I could not believe that it was happening; it has been such an emotional week and the ups and downs had been great that I was about ready to crash when it finally got there. In fact once my anesthesiologist came into the room I told him that I had a head ache as was having allot of anxiety from the roller coaster of a week I had had. He gave me something for it and it helped almost instantly. They took me in to the Operating Room a little after six and I guess that the surgeon got to me about seven. The surgery went beautiful, Dr. Belnap took his time and did a good job; in fact they said that he said in recovery with me for a while.
They got me up to my room a little before midnight; and I just went to bed. When I was gotten up the next morning I felt really good, in fact you could barely tell that I had had surgery the night before. I was doing really well; I had to have Heparin injections in my belly 3 times a day to prevent blood clots, those weren’t pleasant I never want to have to have them again. They had to intubate me for the surgery, I don’t remember a lot about it and that is okay with me. I remember coughing allot when I can out surgery, my lungs have hurt a lot the last couple of days, I coughed a lot last night but I am getting up and around a lot better today than I have in a couple of days.
I have six little incisions in a circle around my abdomen and I have an incision where my drainage to was. The only thing that sucks is that I can’t shower until tomorrow I smell like the hospital and my hair is kind of yucky; but I will survive! I am a fighter and I don’t ever give up I will make it and tomorrow is going to be a better day.
I can’t wait to go to the Dr. on the twenty ninth to see how much I have lost. I am hoping for thirty or more pounds but I am not going to get my hopes up. I am going to also be posting pictures at the beginning of each week; I am going to be keeping a photo journal. I never been skinny and I can’t wait to see how it feels. It is going to be good; my dad has started calling me skinny because Dr. Belnap says that I need Therapy as well as changing me eating habits. I need positive thoughts and positive reinforcements I think that I will get it from my family, they are good for that. The only person in my family that I have not seen yet is my brother; and I don’t know if I will see him he was not supportive of me having this surgery and so it isn’t that big of a deal. I had to do what was best for me and this is what that step was, and I am starting down the road to having a healthier and happier life. And I am glad for it I can’t wait to start seeing the results.
I am going to try to make a post every day so that I can let those of you who are interested in knowing how I am doing updated. I feel great today and can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. I will talk to all of you soon!
Friday when they rolled me away from my family I almost started crying. I could not believe that it was happening; it has been such an emotional week and the ups and downs had been great that I was about ready to crash when it finally got there. In fact once my anesthesiologist came into the room I told him that I had a head ache as was having allot of anxiety from the roller coaster of a week I had had. He gave me something for it and it helped almost instantly. They took me in to the Operating Room a little after six and I guess that the surgeon got to me about seven. The surgery went beautiful, Dr. Belnap took his time and did a good job; in fact they said that he said in recovery with me for a while.
They got me up to my room a little before midnight; and I just went to bed. When I was gotten up the next morning I felt really good, in fact you could barely tell that I had had surgery the night before. I was doing really well; I had to have Heparin injections in my belly 3 times a day to prevent blood clots, those weren’t pleasant I never want to have to have them again. They had to intubate me for the surgery, I don’t remember a lot about it and that is okay with me. I remember coughing allot when I can out surgery, my lungs have hurt a lot the last couple of days, I coughed a lot last night but I am getting up and around a lot better today than I have in a couple of days.
I have six little incisions in a circle around my abdomen and I have an incision where my drainage to was. The only thing that sucks is that I can’t shower until tomorrow I smell like the hospital and my hair is kind of yucky; but I will survive! I am a fighter and I don’t ever give up I will make it and tomorrow is going to be a better day.
I can’t wait to go to the Dr. on the twenty ninth to see how much I have lost. I am hoping for thirty or more pounds but I am not going to get my hopes up. I am going to also be posting pictures at the beginning of each week; I am going to be keeping a photo journal. I never been skinny and I can’t wait to see how it feels. It is going to be good; my dad has started calling me skinny because Dr. Belnap says that I need Therapy as well as changing me eating habits. I need positive thoughts and positive reinforcements I think that I will get it from my family, they are good for that. The only person in my family that I have not seen yet is my brother; and I don’t know if I will see him he was not supportive of me having this surgery and so it isn’t that big of a deal. I had to do what was best for me and this is what that step was, and I am starting down the road to having a healthier and happier life. And I am glad for it I can’t wait to start seeing the results.
I am going to try to make a post every day so that I can let those of you who are interested in knowing how I am doing updated. I feel great today and can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. I will talk to all of you soon!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
News From An Englishman...
Okay everyone, I'm Mark and i'm Ronda's husband...as some of you may know! :)
Just a quick blog from myself to keep you all updated...
Me and Sarah (Ronda's sister) went with ronda to the hospital and we got there for about 1pm. A nurse came in after 2 hours and told us that her surgery had been put back an hour or two...but it was still going to go ahead.
Ronda had a few visitors from Dr Belnap's office who were so happy that she was finally going to get in and have her op. They stayed quite a while...maybe 40 mins. Nice that they were so concerned about her...
We were still in the room at 5pm when Ronda's Mom & Dad and little Hallie (Sarah's daughter) arrived..Hallie was quiet and a little angel (thogh 6 hours waiting eventually took its toll on that!) :)
A guy came and took Ronda about 5.10 pm...and they showed us to the waiting room as we said our goodbyes..
It was one long wait! 9.30pm arrived and we were all starting to wander what was taking so long...4 hours. Ronda's mom asked her dad to make a call on the courtesy phone. He was told that Dr Belnap was just taking it slowly and that everything was going well...at least we knew everything was going well.
Just before 11pm...Dr Belnap came and saw us. He didn't say much. He said the operation had gone well and Ronda was in the recovery room. He told us she would need to get up and walk a lot the next few days - she would need exercise. Also gave us information on the foods she should be looking to eat and what size of meal she should be looking to eat. He said he was hopeful of her being home soon, sounds like there's a good chance she might be home Sunday...
So we went up to another waiting room and waited for them to bring her up...which they did after about 15-20 mins...Ronda was wheeled into the waiting room on her way to her new room. Obviously she was very tired and just wanted to sleep. We all got to see her and give her our love and saw her in her new room...and thats about it! We shall be travelling down their in the next few hours hopefully...
I know the support and love Ronda has received as helped her very much and as been a strength to her, i thank you all for your support!
Onto other matters....Another year of improvement for Aston Villa in the English Football Premier League...but it looks like falling flat at the minute!! C'mon Villa!!!!! Well, I am English!! :)
God Bless you all..
Love Mark...
Just a quick blog from myself to keep you all updated...
Me and Sarah (Ronda's sister) went with ronda to the hospital and we got there for about 1pm. A nurse came in after 2 hours and told us that her surgery had been put back an hour or two...but it was still going to go ahead.
Ronda had a few visitors from Dr Belnap's office who were so happy that she was finally going to get in and have her op. They stayed quite a while...maybe 40 mins. Nice that they were so concerned about her...
We were still in the room at 5pm when Ronda's Mom & Dad and little Hallie (Sarah's daughter) arrived..Hallie was quiet and a little angel (thogh 6 hours waiting eventually took its toll on that!) :)
A guy came and took Ronda about 5.10 pm...and they showed us to the waiting room as we said our goodbyes..
It was one long wait! 9.30pm arrived and we were all starting to wander what was taking so long...4 hours. Ronda's mom asked her dad to make a call on the courtesy phone. He was told that Dr Belnap was just taking it slowly and that everything was going well...at least we knew everything was going well.
Just before 11pm...Dr Belnap came and saw us. He didn't say much. He said the operation had gone well and Ronda was in the recovery room. He told us she would need to get up and walk a lot the next few days - she would need exercise. Also gave us information on the foods she should be looking to eat and what size of meal she should be looking to eat. He said he was hopeful of her being home soon, sounds like there's a good chance she might be home Sunday...
So we went up to another waiting room and waited for them to bring her up...which they did after about 15-20 mins...Ronda was wheeled into the waiting room on her way to her new room. Obviously she was very tired and just wanted to sleep. We all got to see her and give her our love and saw her in her new room...and thats about it! We shall be travelling down their in the next few hours hopefully...
I know the support and love Ronda has received as helped her very much and as been a strength to her, i thank you all for your support!
Onto other matters....Another year of improvement for Aston Villa in the English Football Premier League...but it looks like falling flat at the minute!! C'mon Villa!!!!! Well, I am English!! :)
God Bless you all..
Love Mark...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Crossing my Fingers and Toes!
Okay, so we are trying again today; I have not heard anything yet and so I am taking no news is good news; and Dr. Belnap said the he was going to try to keep me on the surgery schedule. I am trying to stay positive; (deb) thinking happy thoughts; trying to hang out in my happy place but some times dark ugly thoughts encroach on my happiness. I am letting the spirit guide me today and we are going with it.
Thank you for your prayers and comments; you will never know how much they have helped me through this last week. It has been rather difficult. I love you all; here is to hoping that today begins the first day of the rest of my life and I can't wait to see how wonderful it is going to be.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed, and I guess some prayers will help too.
Ronda
Thank you for your prayers and comments; you will never know how much they have helped me through this last week. It has been rather difficult. I love you all; here is to hoping that today begins the first day of the rest of my life and I can't wait to see how wonderful it is going to be.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed, and I guess some prayers will help too.
Ronda
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Nerves and Anticipation
Tomorrow is now the scheduled day; and I have to tell you that I am very nervous. I have been so afraid that it is going to be canceled again; I don’t know if I can handle it I am.
So my surgeon’s office called me this evening to update me on what is going on. He has been in Transplants all day again. He has one more this evening and they are hoping that is it. I am scheduled to be at the hospital at one; I am just hoping and praying that this is the day that it happens. If not I am sure that I will be able to deal with it and I know that it will eventually happen.
Right now there are lives that need to be saved; and it is my surgeon that has been chosen to be the instrument in that. I am happy that these people are getting a new lease on life; but I am getting really frustrated.
Well I could continue this post but it would be very low key and depressing; I am feeling very low right at the moment. The high and lows of this experience has been horrible; it is just making it through. Keep your fingers crossed and pray for me, I really need the comfort of the Lord right now this is I think one of the hardest things that I have been through.
Thank you for your love and prayers; they are appreciated. I love all of you and will keep you all updated.
Ronda Gardner
So my surgeon’s office called me this evening to update me on what is going on. He has been in Transplants all day again. He has one more this evening and they are hoping that is it. I am scheduled to be at the hospital at one; I am just hoping and praying that this is the day that it happens. If not I am sure that I will be able to deal with it and I know that it will eventually happen.
Right now there are lives that need to be saved; and it is my surgeon that has been chosen to be the instrument in that. I am happy that these people are getting a new lease on life; but I am getting really frustrated.
Well I could continue this post but it would be very low key and depressing; I am feeling very low right at the moment. The high and lows of this experience has been horrible; it is just making it through. Keep your fingers crossed and pray for me, I really need the comfort of the Lord right now this is I think one of the hardest things that I have been through.
Thank you for your love and prayers; they are appreciated. I love all of you and will keep you all updated.
Ronda Gardner
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I Think That I am Being Tried!
I got up this morning ran to the store and got bread so my husband could have sandwiches while I was in the hospital. About nine something my cell phone rang; my sister Sarah didn’t answer it because she wasn’t sure who it was. I took one look at the number and my heart dropped; it was the surgeon’s office calling to tell me that they were going to have to reschedule me because Belnap had been in Transplants all night long.
What can I do about it; getting mad isn’t going to help any, yes of course I am disappointed and I didn’t cry but other than that I am powerless. I knew when I chose Belnap as a surgeon that there was a chance that this could happen. He specializes in Organ Transplant.
Well since it is Wednesday I went up to weight so I can stay on top of where I am. Keep in mind also that I have been on a clear liquid diet since six o’clock on Sunday. Well I’ve lost five pounds since Sunday; so I have lost a total of forty two pounds which is really good.
While I was in his office Dr. Belnap called and said that he got another transplant and was on his way to Colorado to harvest the organ and then he would be back to put it in. They are hoping that he doesn’t get anymore; he is scheduled off tomorrow to sleep (as long as there are no more transplants) and then he two on Friday, me and one other guy.
I am praying that things go well, and that we can get the ball rolling. I can’t put my whole life on whole until I can have surgery. I am disappointed and I hope that it will happen soon; but I know that it will have the surgery when it is meant to happen and not one minute sooner. I am learning a hard lesson in patients; I have discovered that I am a lot stronger than I thought that I was.
I will keep every one posted on what is going on. Thank you for your prayers and love they are defiantly felt and appreciated. I love all of you thank you very much for everything.
Ronda Gardner
What can I do about it; getting mad isn’t going to help any, yes of course I am disappointed and I didn’t cry but other than that I am powerless. I knew when I chose Belnap as a surgeon that there was a chance that this could happen. He specializes in Organ Transplant.
Well since it is Wednesday I went up to weight so I can stay on top of where I am. Keep in mind also that I have been on a clear liquid diet since six o’clock on Sunday. Well I’ve lost five pounds since Sunday; so I have lost a total of forty two pounds which is really good.
While I was in his office Dr. Belnap called and said that he got another transplant and was on his way to Colorado to harvest the organ and then he would be back to put it in. They are hoping that he doesn’t get anymore; he is scheduled off tomorrow to sleep (as long as there are no more transplants) and then he two on Friday, me and one other guy.
I am praying that things go well, and that we can get the ball rolling. I can’t put my whole life on whole until I can have surgery. I am disappointed and I hope that it will happen soon; but I know that it will have the surgery when it is meant to happen and not one minute sooner. I am learning a hard lesson in patients; I have discovered that I am a lot stronger than I thought that I was.
I will keep every one posted on what is going on. Thank you for your prayers and love they are defiantly felt and appreciated. I love all of you thank you very much for everything.
Ronda Gardner
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wow, This Is The Hardest Day So Far!
Today is bad, I am so tired that I can't believe it and to think that my supervisor wanted me to come to work. There is no way that I would have survived it. I have done nothing but sleep today; being on a clear liquid diet isn't helping. Though I am not as hungry as I was yesterday; that is a good thing.
I just pray that tomorrow it happens; I understand that transplants are more important and that any one would get bumped every time, But I don't think I will be able to deal with it if I get bumped again. I have a good feeling about it, but I also have to tell myself that it might happen again. At least some ones life was saved yesterday and that in its self is a good thing. I don't want any one to think that I am selfish or anything because I'm not.
I am just ready to have this stage of the process over so I can start the rest of my life. I can't wait to see myself in 4 months time, they said that I will probably be down a hundred or more pounds because I have already lost 40. It is amazing such a great feeling to think that I lost 40 pounds in 45 days. I can't believe it; I haven't lost weight that fast before. It was also the hardest way that I have ever had to loose weight.
So right now I am just trying to stay positive and not think about having surgery too much. After yesterday the nerves are completely gone (about the surgery that is) now I am only nervous about it not happening again. When ever it happens it is going to be great. Thank you all for your love and support and the encouraging words that you for me. I hope my blog helps every one who reads it, who is struggling with there weight. This has been a life long struggle for me so I know how hard it is. Having this surgery for me is like a dream come true; I have longed to be skinny my whole life and I can't wait too see what I look like a hundred pounds from now. Stayed tuned I will definitely be sharing photos!
I love you all
Ronda G.
I just pray that tomorrow it happens; I understand that transplants are more important and that any one would get bumped every time, But I don't think I will be able to deal with it if I get bumped again. I have a good feeling about it, but I also have to tell myself that it might happen again. At least some ones life was saved yesterday and that in its self is a good thing. I don't want any one to think that I am selfish or anything because I'm not.
I am just ready to have this stage of the process over so I can start the rest of my life. I can't wait to see myself in 4 months time, they said that I will probably be down a hundred or more pounds because I have already lost 40. It is amazing such a great feeling to think that I lost 40 pounds in 45 days. I can't believe it; I haven't lost weight that fast before. It was also the hardest way that I have ever had to loose weight.
So right now I am just trying to stay positive and not think about having surgery too much. After yesterday the nerves are completely gone (about the surgery that is) now I am only nervous about it not happening again. When ever it happens it is going to be great. Thank you all for your love and support and the encouraging words that you for me. I hope my blog helps every one who reads it, who is struggling with there weight. This has been a life long struggle for me so I know how hard it is. Having this surgery for me is like a dream come true; I have longed to be skinny my whole life and I can't wait too see what I look like a hundred pounds from now. Stayed tuned I will definitely be sharing photos!
I love you all
Ronda G.
Monday, March 10, 2008
A Little Bit of a Delay!
It has been a bit of a rough day! I got a phone call last night asking me to be at St. Marks at ten this morning instead of at one. I had a very rough night I didn’t get to bed until one this morning and at twenty to seven my cell phone started going off. I got up and my bowel prep was still working like mad, I had to shower take before pictures, take measurements we had to drop Hallie off at school, go to the credit union and get the cahiers check changed again and then head to St. Marks. Get this we were even early.
I went and paid my deductible when I first got there, then headed for Ambulatory care to get checked in for surgery. I ended up sitting in the waiting room for an hour, they finally took me into a room around 11, I got into a gown; they check my vital signs and told me that they would be into take me up for surgery around one.
Well my friend Loreen from work called me and was joking around about being my surgeon saying that she was sorry but he had a transplant just come in and they were going to have to reschedule my surgery for a later date. I kid you not; not even five minutes after that phone call a nurse came in and told me that she had bad news. That a Live transplant had come in and they were bumping me off the schedule and that I would have to call Belnap’s office and reschedule my surgery.
So now I am scheduled for surgery on Wednesday the 12th at 4:30 and I pray that this time it happens. I know that this is what I get for praying that no one would die and that I would be able to have surgery to day. I am going to try not to be so selfish this next two days.
So I don’t have to do the bowel prep again I am on a clear liquid diet until then. I am hungry and it is going to be hard but I know that I can do it; because I don’t think that I am going to be able to drink Phospha Soda again. It was the most horrible stuff that I have ever tasted!
I am going to try and put my before pictures on here if I can get the memory card to work. Here they are I am not fond of these pictures of myself but the change is amazing.
I went and paid my deductible when I first got there, then headed for Ambulatory care to get checked in for surgery. I ended up sitting in the waiting room for an hour, they finally took me into a room around 11, I got into a gown; they check my vital signs and told me that they would be into take me up for surgery around one.
Well my friend Loreen from work called me and was joking around about being my surgeon saying that she was sorry but he had a transplant just come in and they were going to have to reschedule my surgery for a later date. I kid you not; not even five minutes after that phone call a nurse came in and told me that she had bad news. That a Live transplant had come in and they were bumping me off the schedule and that I would have to call Belnap’s office and reschedule my surgery.
So now I am scheduled for surgery on Wednesday the 12th at 4:30 and I pray that this time it happens. I know that this is what I get for praying that no one would die and that I would be able to have surgery to day. I am going to try not to be so selfish this next two days.
So I don’t have to do the bowel prep again I am on a clear liquid diet until then. I am hungry and it is going to be hard but I know that I can do it; because I don’t think that I am going to be able to drink Phospha Soda again. It was the most horrible stuff that I have ever tasted!
I am going to try and put my before pictures on here if I can get the memory card to work. Here they are I am not fond of these pictures of myself but the change is amazing.
This pic was taken This Pic was taken
the 20th of Jan the 10th of March
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Final Hours!
Well it is finally here; I have to be at the hospital in 10 hours and I am really getting nervous. I am so very tiered and I want to go to bed but I can’t because the Phospa-soda is still working and until it is done I can’t go to be.
I just wanted to make a post before I went in for surgery tomorrow; I will not be blogging for a while. I promise that as soon as I am home from the hospital I will be back on here posting every day. I will tell you all how the surgery went; and how my hospital stay was. I am hoping not to be in the hospital for too long.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers; and I will be in contact soon. Thank you all for reading my blog and for your support and comments. I appreciate it very much!
Ronda Gardner
I just wanted to make a post before I went in for surgery tomorrow; I will not be blogging for a while. I promise that as soon as I am home from the hospital I will be back on here posting every day. I will tell you all how the surgery went; and how my hospital stay was. I am hoping not to be in the hospital for too long.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers; and I will be in contact soon. Thank you all for reading my blog and for your support and comments. I appreciate it very much!
Ronda Gardner
Friday, March 7, 2008
Final Count Down!
I tried to blog yesterday but my computer was being stupid and wouldn’t let me access Blogger; it kept telling me that my Java script was disabled but I could play a game. My computer lately has had a mind of its own.
Well, I went to St. Marks hospital yesterday and met with the director of the Bariatric unit and went through the Life Styles class. I have to tell you she didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t already know. I learned stuff about how life is going to be after surgery; she talked to me about utilizing the tools that they give me that it will help me more success with my surgery. It was very informational but like I said that at the same time it was allot of repeat from what I learned at weight watchers.
I hope that the stuff that I am learning now I can use when I have children; and hopefully teach them how to eat healthy and that food is merely for survival and not for comfort. I know that it is not my parent’s fault that I have a weight problem; they have tried to help me loose weight. They have done everything that they could to help me; I have dieted and had some success but have never been able to keep it off for longer than 1 year or more.
After I met with the Director I met with the Nutritionist; I think it is possible that she is the thinnest person I have ever met. She talked to me about the diet and what I am going to be able to eat. She said that after I have surgery, if you put your thumbs together from your knuckle to the tip of your thumbs is how big my stomach is going to be. I will only be able to eat between 3 to 4 tablespoons of food at a meal. I can’t not drink for a half hour before I eat; I am supposed to take a half hour to eat and there is no drinking what while eating; and no water for a half hour after I eat. So I can’t have water for an hour and a half. But I still am supposed to drink 62 ounces of water a day. It is insane I am going to be drinking water from the minute I get out of bed until the minute I go back to bed. I’m going to be spending a lot of time in the bath room.
All that I have left to do is go for my pre-op appointment tomorrow with Dr. Belnap at 5:30, Sunday I have to go back up to St. Marks for one final Lab to be drawn and then I am back home to drink that nasty stuff to clean out my bowls. I have decided that I am going to stay up as late as possible Sunday night so I can sleep in really late Monday morning so I don’t have a lot of time to think about everything.
I am scheduled for surgery at 2:00 and have to be at the hospital by 1:00. I am really excited, scared, anxious, happy; excited you would think that some one would explode feeling all these things at once. I want to thank all of you who read my blog everyday for your support. Esp. you Debbie and Melanie your comments and support really help me. This is so hard and I don’t think that I could make it through this with out your love and support. You are great!
There may not be a post for a few days past Monday I will try to see if my husband will blog for me and let you all know how surgery went. But once I am hoe from the hospital I will be here every day letting you all know how things are going.
Thank you
Ronda Gardner
Well, I went to St. Marks hospital yesterday and met with the director of the Bariatric unit and went through the Life Styles class. I have to tell you she didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t already know. I learned stuff about how life is going to be after surgery; she talked to me about utilizing the tools that they give me that it will help me more success with my surgery. It was very informational but like I said that at the same time it was allot of repeat from what I learned at weight watchers.
I hope that the stuff that I am learning now I can use when I have children; and hopefully teach them how to eat healthy and that food is merely for survival and not for comfort. I know that it is not my parent’s fault that I have a weight problem; they have tried to help me loose weight. They have done everything that they could to help me; I have dieted and had some success but have never been able to keep it off for longer than 1 year or more.
After I met with the Director I met with the Nutritionist; I think it is possible that she is the thinnest person I have ever met. She talked to me about the diet and what I am going to be able to eat. She said that after I have surgery, if you put your thumbs together from your knuckle to the tip of your thumbs is how big my stomach is going to be. I will only be able to eat between 3 to 4 tablespoons of food at a meal. I can’t not drink for a half hour before I eat; I am supposed to take a half hour to eat and there is no drinking what while eating; and no water for a half hour after I eat. So I can’t have water for an hour and a half. But I still am supposed to drink 62 ounces of water a day. It is insane I am going to be drinking water from the minute I get out of bed until the minute I go back to bed. I’m going to be spending a lot of time in the bath room.
All that I have left to do is go for my pre-op appointment tomorrow with Dr. Belnap at 5:30, Sunday I have to go back up to St. Marks for one final Lab to be drawn and then I am back home to drink that nasty stuff to clean out my bowls. I have decided that I am going to stay up as late as possible Sunday night so I can sleep in really late Monday morning so I don’t have a lot of time to think about everything.
I am scheduled for surgery at 2:00 and have to be at the hospital by 1:00. I am really excited, scared, anxious, happy; excited you would think that some one would explode feeling all these things at once. I want to thank all of you who read my blog everyday for your support. Esp. you Debbie and Melanie your comments and support really help me. This is so hard and I don’t think that I could make it through this with out your love and support. You are great!
There may not be a post for a few days past Monday I will try to see if my husband will blog for me and let you all know how surgery went. But once I am hoe from the hospital I will be here every day letting you all know how things are going.
Thank you
Ronda Gardner
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Bad Weekend!
I know that it has been a couple of days since I have made a post; but I had a BAD weekend! I have been having problems with my lower back and it seems to be getting worse. I have a huge knot on the left side lower back and it is causing me some major grief. Well Saturday night I started having some major spasms and that were so bad I could barley move. I took some heavy duty pain pills and muscle relaxers hoping that in the morning it would feel better. But I no such luck, I got to use the bath room at five in the morning and they started up again. The only thing the drugs and muscle relaxers did for me was make me sleep until twelve.
I eventually started feeling better, I woke up Monday morning not knowing that the day before I was in so much pain. But today I am starting to hurt a little bit; I just keep telling my self one and a half more days to work and then I will have some much needed time off from work. That is if the surgeons lets me have surgery on Monday. I don't know why he wouldn't but you never know.
The diet is still going good; but I am too the point that I am getting sick of everything that I can eat. But it isn't too much of a problem because I am not very hungry these days. I think that my stomach has shrunk some; so that is a good thing and I don't get as hungry as often.
I am really excited about surgery, it is so close and the light is at the end of the tunnel and it is such a relief. I have been working so hard for this and I am glad to be at the end of it. I appreciate all of you who read my blog, and post comments to help support and encourage me. It means allot too me. I love all you and thanks for the prayers and thoughts!
Ronda Gardner
I eventually started feeling better, I woke up Monday morning not knowing that the day before I was in so much pain. But today I am starting to hurt a little bit; I just keep telling my self one and a half more days to work and then I will have some much needed time off from work. That is if the surgeons lets me have surgery on Monday. I don't know why he wouldn't but you never know.
The diet is still going good; but I am too the point that I am getting sick of everything that I can eat. But it isn't too much of a problem because I am not very hungry these days. I think that my stomach has shrunk some; so that is a good thing and I don't get as hungry as often.
I am really excited about surgery, it is so close and the light is at the end of the tunnel and it is such a relief. I have been working so hard for this and I am glad to be at the end of it. I appreciate all of you who read my blog, and post comments to help support and encourage me. It means allot too me. I love all you and thanks for the prayers and thoughts!
Ronda Gardner
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