Yesterday was a crazy day, I got up at seven in the morning to go to the gym and do water aerobics and man can you say that they kicked my butt; literally my bottom was so soar I wanted to cry before I was done. I met my friend Laureen’s trainer and he told us that we were awesome because he can’t do water aerobics because they are so hard. We are talking about a weight trainer who has done water resistance training and speed swimming and he can’t do water aerobics. That makes me feel good, they are hard but when you are done you feel like you have gotten a good work out I love it, my skin and hair doesn’t they are dry enough with out the added chlorine but I need to do something.
After the gym yesterday I came home, I got showered and cleaned up so I could go to a bridal shower. My cousin Risa is getting married to a sweet man named Chris; they are so cute together, I wish you could see them together. (those of you who don't know them) I can't believe that she is getting married; she is the baby of the family I love her to death and I am really excited for them both. They are twenty two and she waited for him while he served a mission. They are just an adorable couple! You could say that last night when I got home I was exhausted and then I took my husband out to drive and to practice parallel parking so that he can go down and take his driving test and get his License’s. I slept really good last night to say the least!
I started crying last night when I was with my husband because my hair has started falling out, I knew that it was going to happen but I am having a hard time dealing with it. It isn’t like my hair is really thick or anything and I don’t have a lot to spare. So I am just hoping and praying that I don’t loose too much before it starts to thicken back up. I am going to make a hair appointment to get it cut, it is probably going to be cut off short so that I can have the appearance of think hair with out actually having thick hair. I am not vain or anything but I am not dealing with this part of the surgery very well.
Mark tells me that I am beautiful anyways and that it doesn’t matter, and I know that it doesn’t but I am a girl and I am not supposed to go bald. I know that thinning hair is normal; my hair has been thinning for a few years now and it hasn’t been a problem. I can deal with any thing that the lord gives me, I have been through a lot of really difficult trials since I was married, I think that the hardest trial that I have faced was my miscarriage. There is nothing in this world that I have wanted more a child, to be a mother. When I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon I was so excited that I cried all the way home from the Doctors office. I am praying that it may happen again some day when the time is right. I want to be a mommy.
This last week I lost another four pounds, I am trying really hard not to be disappointed. I know that four pounds is better than nothing; and a lot of my friends who have had this surgery by this point in their weight loss they had hit a plateau. I have been loosing since January and I have not hit one yet; there has been weeks that the weight loss has been slower than others and then the next thing that I know I have had another huge loss. So I am going to stay positive and things will happen. I want to be able to get down to one hundred and seventy pounds; but if I can get down to two hundred and look good I may stay there, but I really think that I am going to try and keep going. I want to be under that two hundred mark. I said one day that I wanted to try to get down to one hundred and fifty and was told that there was no way that, that was way to small for me. I don’t want to have to deal with people telling me that I am too skinny, and that I look sick. Wont that be funny though, to be told that you are too fat your entire life and the to one day to be skinny. I think at that point I would just laugh at them.
I know that I am excited for what the future holds in store for me and that I can’t wait to be skinny. It will be a dream come true and the answer to a prayer. I hate trying to live life being over weight. It is very hard you really can’t live you just exist. You sit on the side lines and watch life pass you by. There are so many things that I want to do.
When my niece and nephews are here I want to be able to go out side with them and kick a soccer ball around, I want to be able to play volley ball with my friends from work, I want to be able to go to the zoo and walk around and enjoy my self and not feel like I am going to die. I want to go to salt lake and walk around the “This is the place monument” and enjoy my self and see how the early saints of the church lived and worshiped. I want to be able to go to lagoon and ride the rides and actually fit in the seats and not get squished my the bars. There are just so many things that I could go on for a day; but I think that you get the point. I want to be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
Well I am off so that I can get ready for church, I love all of you very much and I am so grateful, that I have such wonderful friends to help me through this journey. Your love and support means the world to me and I don’t think that you will ever know how much. Thank you all for your prayers and for keeping me in your thoughts. I know that I have many friends out there who did not think that I should do this and tried to talk me out of it. But I did what I thought was best for me, and I am very glad that I did it. I love you all.
Thank You all
Love
Ronda
2 comments:
to skinny...LOL your mom seemed like a stick when she lost all of her weight and I thought she was to skinny! but it is truely what you are happy with. If you get to 150 and feel that you are happy then go for it but you will be a stick. You may have not lost weight if you gained Muscle too ronda. and muscle weighs more then fat and it makes you look TONS thinner and it helps burn fat. Dont worry if your numbers are low while you get into working out you will still see a huge body differnce. I think that is what you are going for any way that way your body tights the skin up and muscles and so on. You are able to do more and your body is going to start gaining muscle from all the work out it is getting. You are going to be skinny and muscular. you will look like an olympian!!!! I was laying in bed the other day talking to josh about this very subject...we were talkinig about how much you haven't been able to do and all the stuff you can now accomplish. the world is going to be your play ground. you are going to have so much fun! Make sure you do it aall and experiance it all. Okk I think I have rambled enough...go kick aahhh...BUTT! lol
Debbie, a pound of fat & a pound of muslce still equal 1 pound. But I know what you are saying. Muscle is dense & fat is loose & jiggly. I hope Ronda does start building muslce, I worry about her not getting enough protein, esp loosing hair before the 3 month mark. People usually lose hair from months 3-7 & then start regrowing that hair. Protein helps us to retain our hair & muscle. Ronda, I love you & just want you to be healthy. How much protein are you getting in per day? You should be getting over 65 grams per day. You are tall & prolly need 75+ grams. I can't wait to go to the zoo with you in the summer. We are going to do so much & have so much fun. You will have so much more energy. Keep working out, but keep eating. I know losing 4lbs is frustrating, but remember that with WW didn't they want you to lose 2lbs per week? Think of it this way, you are losing double what WW would want per week! I remember losing NOTHING weeks 4 & 5 -- crying & telling my mom I was going to McDonalds! LOL She said "I want to see you try that, let's go!" Of course I said "No! I'm just kidding!" but it was so frustrating not losing a pound. They say a true plateau is losing NOTHING for a month or 4wks straight. So you definately haven't reached that point. 4lbs is AWESOME! Girl, you are getting closer & closer to that 100lb loss mark since January. I'm SUPER proud of my best friend! I pray when I get out there in late July you will be down to about 275 or less. You will look GREAT & hopefully feel GREAT! We will have so much fun. You can kick a soccer ball around with my girls. They have inherited the fat gene & need as much exercise they can. I try not to even mention weight around them. Kayla thinks she's "fat" & gets on the scale all the time. I have to reassure her that she is normal sized & beautiful. She is so insecure. Just like I was as a child. I try so hard to make her feel secure. Only time will tell. I hope my girls gain lots of secure feelings. They are beautiful & deserve that. I didn't gain that security until I was 26 -- what a shame! But at least I got here!!! So will YOU!!! Debbie is so right, the world is going to be your play ground. I always said that me being 370lbs on a 5'4" frame was not living. It was watching the parade of life pass me buy....when you get to a normal weight...skinny or close to it....the world is going to be your playground. You will be able to do just about anything. Not just shopping in any store you want, you'll be able to go scuba diving or mountain climbing....whatever your hearts desire! I think even just getting PG & staying PG will be a HUGE milestone. Even I desire that 4 you! I love ya Ronda! Have a great night. I hope we get to talk soon. We didn't talk long today....my butt fell asleep after I ate.
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