trying to learn how to deal with. It is really hard to want to exercise when your back hurts all the time and you have muscle spasms in your lower back, and your legs are always numb. I have been to Doctors and they tell me to exercise or walk, I’ve been told to also do Pilates and Yoga that the two of them will really help stretch my back and help with core strengthening, and that is what I need.
Last week I started walking at my 8:30 break and I can’t believe how much it helped my back. I am going to continue to walk at work and every day I am going to try to walk a little more. Last week I walked around the parking lot once and a half and I personally think that, that was good. This week I am going to try 2 laps and so on, I want to get up to 3 or 4 times. I actually need to figure out home many times is a mile, it may take some speed walking but that it is okay, I am up for about anything right now.
All I know is that I am sick of being in pain all of the time, and need to get this under control. I am not going to let this get the best of me, it is not going to beat me and I am not going to have surgery unless I hurt my back and it becomes necessary. So if any one who reads my blog has any advice for me I am open for anything. Just through it my way, I am willing to try anything.
I am looking into getting the rest of this blasted weight off; I think first and foremost I need to get out of the habit of eating easy foods. I need to get back to watching my proteins and Carbohydrates that I eat everyday. I need to try to get in as many Proteins as I can a day, and stay away from those evil wicked Carbs, Mmm I love Carbs. Even though they make me sick to my stomach and don’t last long it exit’s as fast as I eat it.
I need to start paying attention to my body and listening to it when it talks to me. The surgeon told me to listen to my body it will tell me what it needs and what it doesn’t. But I have just gotten out of the habit and doing what I know that I need to do, it is just too easy to fall back into old routines and that is something that I will not allow. I WILL not gain all that weight back; if I do I don’t think that I will be able to handle it.
Weighing over 400 pounds is not easy and I would never wish it on any one, okay I lied I would wish it on all those girls in school who made my life a living hell. I would love for them to walk a mile in my shoes and then maybe they would think twice about doing it to some one else. I would love for them to feel the emptiness, the loneliness and the self loathing that you feel when you don’t fit into the world around you.
I wish that there was something that I could do to help every body out there that has a lot of weight to loose; I wish that they knew that it was possible to loose your weight. That weight loss surgery isn’t the only answer, that there are other weight loss programs out there that work. I would hold their hands and give them words of encouragement every day. I would help them to meet there goals and to have an easier life.
I would say a HAPPIER life, because losing weight doesn’t make one happy. It does make life easier, and makes you feel better physically and mentally but no it doesn’t make you happy. You have to find happiness with in side of your self, you have to learn to love your self and except your self for the person that you are. No on else can love you if you can’t love and except your self.
So if you need to loose weight and you want or need some help you can email me and I will do what I can to help you on your journey. Remember; that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step!
The Orkney Island in the Scottish Highlands, I could get lost here!
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