It is really weird…..but I Was afraid that this was going to be harder than it is. Well it is hard but it is doable. It still amazes me that such a little but of food makes me satisfied; well I guess that you really can’t say satisfied when you really aren’t hungry to begin with. But we are taught to not miss meals because it starts bad habits all over again.
I had a lady that I work with tell me that if this surgery works for me then she will think about having it done. I just looked at her for a minute then I told her that, it isn’t a question of “IF” the surgery works for me, because it will work for me. The questions is, am I going to work for the surgery. It is all up to me. I was highly confident of my self when I went in to this; I went in with my eyes wide open , but it is just A little harder then I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE.
No I don’t think that I want to say harder, I think that it is hard because the week that I had surgery I was on a clear liquid diet and wasn’t able to eat any meals at all. That was by my choice in the end of course. Any of you out there who has had to have a bowl-prep can appreciate why I “did not” want to do it again.
The only thing that I am truly finding challenging right now is getting enough water in for the day, I am supposed to be working my way up to sixty four ounces a day. HA HA HA that is very funny. Esp. when you can only take sips and about an ounce of water every fifteen minutes. My friend Laureen who had the surgery back in December is up too one hundred ounces a day; she is all so drinking from the moment she gets out if bad until the moment until she goes to bed and some during the night.
It is funny about the only thing I notice any more is food! Food plays such an important roll in all of our lives. The one thing that I learned going through this process is that we need to learn how to use food to sustain us through life. We as human beings use food to celebrate everything. The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, a marriage, our child getting good grades in school. Anniversary and birthdays. Food is connected to Everything good, happy and positive in our lives, when really all we need is enough food to sustain us through the day, and that is what they are teaching me. When I am finally able to eat a normal meal, that meal will be the size of a kids meal. Portion size is about three times bigger than it should be. I have to tell you watching some people eat makes me think that they are pigs because of the way that we are raised and the eating habits that people pick up.
But that is because I eat so little, two ounces at every meal is all that my delicate new stomach can handle at the moment. Too be honest with you there are people in my life when they see me eat for the first time are going to tell me that there is no way that I am eating nearly enough to sustain myself. So I will be given a bad time, but you know what I am not about to let it bother me one bit.
I am sorry that I am just babbling on about this, it is what I am thinking about right now. Ever since I went to enrichment meeting last night I have been doing nothing but thinking about food and how I need to eat a big meal because I haven’t eating in a week and a half and how it would be nice to have just a little bit of chocolate and how it wont kill me. In all actuality it might kill me and I don’t want to explain to Dr. Belnap why I am sick. I know that the things that I am thinking are all in my head and they will eventually pass. It is my wiring, my way of thinking.
Well I am going to go and stop rambling on about food, so I can stop thinking about it. Will post again tomorrow and hopefully I will having something more important to talk about, until then
Ciao
Ronda Gardner
2 comments:
I think once you see yourself in a couple months you are going to be so exstatic and feel so good that that will become your focus instead of food. One thing that helps me is to try to stick to a schedule with my eating. I tell myself you eat at this time and this time and nothing in between. Really if I stick to my schedule I really have gotten to the point where I don't even think about the food in between those times. I totally think of food as a life sustaining thing now and have really had to train myself not to comfort myself or reward myself with food anymore.
I am really excited for you and I know you can do what you have to do to make this work.
as long as you are happy wiht you and what you are doing I don't think what any body else thinks or says matters! Keep the force Luke!
Post a Comment