Sunday, November 15, 2009

Destry Thayne Austin

I have been thinking about Destry a lot the last little while and I thought that I would post the poem that I wrote for him after he passed away. For those of you who knew him you will appreciate the person that he was. I only wish that I could have written this for him before he passed a way. He asked me when he found out that I wrote poetry if I would write one for him; I guess that it's never too late!

There are so many things that I want to say about you,
But nothing seems to sound right.
You were an angle to every one you knew,
You touched us all with your light.

You were a rock and a foundation
For so many along the way,
An inspiration and a guide
For those who had gone a stray.

So many hardships and trails,
You battled with on your own.
You were such a beautiful person
I want you to embody this poem.

You always had a warm smile,
For all those who you’d meet,
You made every one feel special
Friendship was what you would seek.

Always positive and out going
Never a negative word did I hear you say,
You looked for the good in all
Even when you were, having the worst of days

A wonderful son, brother, father and friend
You embodied the meaning of all.
Dedicated to your family
You would never let them fall.

Friends are a dime a dozen,
You befriended every one that you would meet.
For them you would go the distance
You helped keep them on there feet.

When it comes to being a daddy,
Island was an unexpected surprise.
However, when it came to that little girl,
She was the twinkle of starlight in your eyes.

When you were a young man
A hardship hit at home,
You stepped up to the plate
Playing an adult roll.

I guess everything that I wanted to say,
Came out here in this poem.
You touched my life and helped me,
In so many ways that you will never know.

I just wish that I could have wrote this,
For you in this mortal life,
However, I could never find the words,
They never seemed to come out right.

By knowing you, my life was better,
You touched the deepest part of my soul.
You were the greatest person,
I had the opportunity to know.

So spread your wings and fly away,
You deserve this eternal rest.
Because of you, every one you knew,
Had a life that was blessed!

Destry, I love you and miss you,
I cannot wait until the day we are to be reunited again.

Ronda Hard

Friday, November 13, 2009

MIA

It has been so long since I last blogged, there isn't really a whole lot going on in my life. My back is starting to feel better; I am not nearly in as much pain as I have been in over the past five months. I have been doing Traction for my back and I love it, it feels so good and I feel really good after I do it. Next week when I go to see Dr. Hardy he is going to release me; and I have to tell you that I am very nervous about this because I don't feel like I am ready to be in my own.

I know that this is something that I am going to struggle with for a lot of my life; and that it will get to the point that it is bearable but it is just going to take time. Dr. Clifford showed me some exercise to do to decompress my back on my own, I am going to start walking at work and I am going to start doing Pilates in the evening.

Not only am I looking for things that will help my back, but to get my weight loss going again. I want to loose this last seventy pounds, I don't want to be fat my whole life. Even though some of my friends are so sweet and tell me that I am not fat trying to make me feel better about my self. I don't feel fat but I still have weight that I want too loose. I want to weigh under two hundred pounds some day, that is the other thing that I want. I know that it's not important and that my husband loves me the way that I am but I want to feel better about my self and I think that, that is the only way that it is going to happen. That and having a butt lift, tummy tuck and a breast job but that is going to coast a lot of money and it may never happen and I will get to the point where I am OK with my body the way that I am.

I have been thinking about Jackie a lot the last few weeks, I really hope that they get the Autopsy report back soon because it is killing me. I want to know why she died, I have some Ideas but I don't want to speculate any more I want to know WHY? There is still so much regret there and I want it too be gone and done with but I know that it is going to take time. I am not going to dwell on the past because it is, the past I am going to think about our friendship and the wonderful times that we shared together.