Eating Disorders

I've been thinking a lot the last little while about a lot of different things; and I am a little concerned that now since I have had this surgery and lost all of this weight that I am going to develop an eating disorder. I know that right now I get major guilty feelings when I eat something that maybe isn't a good food choice. There are times that I think that maybe if I just throw up that my body wont register that it was ever there and that every thing will be fine.

Let me say this, I am not going and eating what ever I want and how much that I want. I am still trying very hard not to stretch my pouch; I still have seventy pounds that I want to loose and I don't want to have to fight to get it off. I am going to succeed at this surgery and I want to be the best me that I can be. I am trying really hard to not worry about how my friends are doing and concerning my self with MY WEIGHT LOSS; because that is all that is important.

I sit and watch people who have had the surgery and I see how they eat and how much they eat; I am really surprised that they have lost as much as they have. I know what I have been taught, I know what my body can handle and I am doing what I know that I need to do.

I went to the library this morning and I had an experience that made me feel really good. Our local library has a security guard 24 hours a day; and to day when I walked in he glanced up at me like they normally do; but to day he took a double look and smiled at me and watched me walk into the library. It made me feel so good about myself; and the changes that I have under gone since I've lost my weight. To tell you the honest truth it made me feel very sexy and I really liked it. People tell me all the time that I am being noticed by men when we go out places; but once in a while I notice it my self and it makes me feel great.

I want every one to know that I am very happy with the choices that I have made for my self and that I am very glad that I choice to have this surgery. My quality of life is so much better than it use to be, I never thought that I would ever feel this good about myself. I am thinking about taking up speeding walking; I never thought that my mom would have to keep up with me when we are at the grocery store, but she does and it is a great feeling.

I love you all; the love and support that I get from all of you is amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Much love