Finding Myself...

I have decided that there is only so much that you can change with out loosing your self; and need to redefine who it is that you are and what it is that you want from your life.

I have lost one hundred and fifty pounds since March 14, 2008; and it still amazes me the changes that I have gone through. Not only physically but also emotionally and mentally, I am a new woman, with a new life and wonderful opportunities ahead of me.

It still blows my mind that men actually pay attention to me, I am not used to men looking at me and finding me attractive. I have never been worth the attention and it is rather nice to feel sexy, pretty and attractive; this is a new experience for me and I love every minute of it.

I walk just a little straighter with my head held just a little higher; and I have a new spring in my step. I cannot believe how much self-confidence I have now; we define our selves by our bodies and I have never felt like I was much to look at and that no man would ever want me. I am so grateful that I met my husband during my post gastric bypass life; he feel in love with me the women that no other man could be bothered to take the time to get to know. Appearances and looks are so important these days; society is obsessed with them. There are so many shallow people in this world and it is sad; because there are so many amazing people out there who will never be giving a change to find some one to love them because they do not fit in to the mold that society and has for a mate.

I hope that some day that society will change; I guess that I am so passionate about this because I have been a victim of bigotry and hate because I am over weight. High school was so difficult for me because I was different and did not fit in; I hope that if I am blessed with children some day that they do not have to live the kind of life that I have. That they aren't treated as I was because they are different: I hope that I can instill good healthy eating habits in them and they do not get my genes.

I am still trying to find my self and learn who it is that I am; I know that I am the same women but there are so many changes that I need to do some soul searching to make sure that I don’t change so much that I loose my family and friends. I love you all and I am so grateful to have so many loving and supportive people in my life. Thank you for the love and support on this incredible journey; it has been amazing and to think that it has only just begun I have the rest of my life ahead of me.

Big Hugs!