This song is by Christina Aguilera, I have always loved the meaning behind this song; and there have been many times that I have been brought to tears by the thoughts that the lyrics invoke in me.
It’s such a shame that a world that is so diverse can’t be more accepting of all those around them who are different. I will agree that it isn’t fair that people aren’t all made the same, but how boring would this world be if we were all the samesize, shape, and color.
I am who I am, I am the women that the lord intended for me to be. I am happy with who and what I am; it bothers me that now that I am one hundred and forty pounds lighter that I am looked at as a person, I am now a human being and it is frustrating. I am glad that I have a husband who loved me before the life changing surgery and accepted me completely. I think that if I would have still been single I don’t think that I would have ever gotten married.
I hope that some day this world will be able to look at people and accept them for who they are, and that the color of there skin, there ethnic background or there religious beliefs don’t come into play. I hope that some day we will all be equal and become the human race.
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, I saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down
So don’t you bring me down today
To all your friends, you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That’s the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring you down
Don’t you bring me down today…
No matter what we do
No matter what we say
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds wont stay
And everywhere we go
The sun wont always shine through
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times
Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won’t bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down
Don’t bring me down today
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
My First Support Group....
I went up for my sixth month appointment yesterday and it went really well. We had a support group and it was really nice. We talked about how our family and friends treat us and act since we had surgery. It is really nice to know that I'm not the only one going through some of what I am going through.
I also learned that even though we all had a gastric bypass, we are all at different stages. Some of us are farther out than others and have lost more than some one who is out farther out than us. It helps me to remember not to compare my weight loss to any bodies else's because we are all different and we all have our own special health problems that we need to learn how to deal with in our journey to health.
I need to go to the Doctor and have some urine test run because my kidneys aren't functioning properly and I am in a lot of pain and I think that I am going to die. My back hurts all the time, and I know that I have passed a lot of stones lately. I also feel like I have a constant bladder infection, and it burns to urinate. So this is what I am having problems with right now. I am going to the Dr. on the 20th of this month to get things taken care of too see if we can get to the bottom of the problem.
I love you all and couldn't do this with out your love and support!
I also learned that even though we all had a gastric bypass, we are all at different stages. Some of us are farther out than others and have lost more than some one who is out farther out than us. It helps me to remember not to compare my weight loss to any bodies else's because we are all different and we all have our own special health problems that we need to learn how to deal with in our journey to health.
I need to go to the Doctor and have some urine test run because my kidneys aren't functioning properly and I am in a lot of pain and I think that I am going to die. My back hurts all the time, and I know that I have passed a lot of stones lately. I also feel like I have a constant bladder infection, and it burns to urinate. So this is what I am having problems with right now. I am going to the Dr. on the 20th of this month to get things taken care of too see if we can get to the bottom of the problem.
I love you all and couldn't do this with out your love and support!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I'm Having One of Those Days.....
I am wondering today why I had this surgery; it has just been one of those days. I haven't felt well all day; I've had a really bad headache, the arthritis in my shoulder is killing me and of course there isn't any thing that I can take to help take the inflammation down that will actually help make it feel better.
I'm not feeling sorry for my self but I am feeling a little frustrated about hurting really bad. I'll get over it and think differently about it tomorrow; its just one of those days. Thank you for letting me rant a little bit about hurting and being frustrated.
I'm not feeling sorry for my self but I am feeling a little frustrated about hurting really bad. I'll get over it and think differently about it tomorrow; its just one of those days. Thank you for letting me rant a little bit about hurting and being frustrated.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My Journey….
I have been blogging since the fifth of January; I’ve talked about the good times and the highs; I’ve also talked about the hard times and the lows. I never thought for a moment that this was going to be an easy road that I had decided to take; I did now that it would be worth it in the long.
My doctor’s office referred me to Dr. Belnap for a consultation for a Gastric Bypass; it took me a while to make the call. This was a major decision that I was making and it was a life changing one, something not to be entered into lightly. I am a religious person; and when there is something of great importance that I need help with I turn to God to help me to know that I am doing the right thing or that what I am wanting to do it right. I prayed about having a Gastric Bypass for a month before I got my answer and I knew for asurety that this was the road that I should be taking.
I remember the night that I went to meet with Vikki and Dr. Belnap for the first time; I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect. I got up there and filled out my paper, talked to some of the people who were up there for the same reason. A couple of them were self pay and were scheduling there surgeries that night, and I have to admit that I was jealous; I am glad that I had insurance that would pay for my surgery but at the same time I wasn’t looking forward to the year a head of me. Lost of test and blood work but you know everything went really fast and surprisingly well. I was approved for my surgery ten months after I started.
I know that I am glad that I chose to go to Dr. Belnap; even though I had to loose forty-seven pounds before I had surgery. He told me when I went up for my pre-operative appointment that it may take me a few months but that I could do it; he asked me how one went about loosing weight (I a pro at that) I went on 100 grams of proteins 20 grams of carbohydrates, no sugar, no carbonated beverages (my own choice) no bread, pasta, rice or potatoes. This diet works; I was tiered and ornery and I had the shakes and was nauseated a lot, but I got enough weight off in seven weeks to have surgery. He also told me that the weight loss was to help him be able to get in there to do what he has to do; and to help me it made my recovery so much easier than my other friends that have had the surgery.
THIS IS POSSIBLE! It can be done I did it, I walked out of my appointment that night told my husband that I wasn’t disappointed and that I was going to loose this weight as fast as possible.
Here is a sample of how I ate when I was preparing for surgery.
Breakfast
I would have a soft boiled egg, 12 g protein
I would have Canadian bacon with that
And a glass a milk
I would chew on raw almonds if I needed something in between meals, they sit in your stomach and help fill you longer and they are a good source of protein.
Lunch
I would have tune, 20 g protein
Cottage cheese, 12 g protein
String cheese, 6 g protein
And then I would have green veggies with it because green veggies are good for you.
Dinner
Some kind of chicken or turkey (tried not too eat too much red meat)
Veggies again
Cottage cheese
Drink lots and lots of water it is good for you in more ways than you can know!
I know that I really focused hard on proteins and some days I felt like all I was doing was eating; but one week after surgery I had lost thirteen pounds and I was excited and rearing to go.
I want every one to know that is thinking about this surgery; or is getting ready for surgery that it is worth it, I can’t tell you that it was easy but I will tell you that it was worth it. In six months I have lost one hundred and forty three pounds and I feel so amazing. The women that I am now I never thought that I would get the chance to be.
Having a Gastric Bypass saved my life; and Dr. Belnap played a major roll that. I am so grateful for the new life that I have been given; I have already done things that I never thought that I would do. So just hang in there I know that you can do it, remember its not easy but it is worth every tear, every loud out burst and every frustration that you feel; because the feeling of that weight melting off is the most amazing feeling in the world. So keep your chin up and keep on keeping on! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
My doctor’s office referred me to Dr. Belnap for a consultation for a Gastric Bypass; it took me a while to make the call. This was a major decision that I was making and it was a life changing one, something not to be entered into lightly. I am a religious person; and when there is something of great importance that I need help with I turn to God to help me to know that I am doing the right thing or that what I am wanting to do it right. I prayed about having a Gastric Bypass for a month before I got my answer and I knew for asurety that this was the road that I should be taking.
I remember the night that I went to meet with Vikki and Dr. Belnap for the first time; I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect. I got up there and filled out my paper, talked to some of the people who were up there for the same reason. A couple of them were self pay and were scheduling there surgeries that night, and I have to admit that I was jealous; I am glad that I had insurance that would pay for my surgery but at the same time I wasn’t looking forward to the year a head of me. Lost of test and blood work but you know everything went really fast and surprisingly well. I was approved for my surgery ten months after I started.
I know that I am glad that I chose to go to Dr. Belnap; even though I had to loose forty-seven pounds before I had surgery. He told me when I went up for my pre-operative appointment that it may take me a few months but that I could do it; he asked me how one went about loosing weight (I a pro at that) I went on 100 grams of proteins 20 grams of carbohydrates, no sugar, no carbonated beverages (my own choice) no bread, pasta, rice or potatoes. This diet works; I was tiered and ornery and I had the shakes and was nauseated a lot, but I got enough weight off in seven weeks to have surgery. He also told me that the weight loss was to help him be able to get in there to do what he has to do; and to help me it made my recovery so much easier than my other friends that have had the surgery.
THIS IS POSSIBLE! It can be done I did it, I walked out of my appointment that night told my husband that I wasn’t disappointed and that I was going to loose this weight as fast as possible.
Here is a sample of how I ate when I was preparing for surgery.
Breakfast
I would have a soft boiled egg, 12 g protein
I would have Canadian bacon with that
And a glass a milk
I would chew on raw almonds if I needed something in between meals, they sit in your stomach and help fill you longer and they are a good source of protein.
Lunch
I would have tune, 20 g protein
Cottage cheese, 12 g protein
String cheese, 6 g protein
And then I would have green veggies with it because green veggies are good for you.
Dinner
Some kind of chicken or turkey (tried not too eat too much red meat)
Veggies again
Cottage cheese
Drink lots and lots of water it is good for you in more ways than you can know!
I know that I really focused hard on proteins and some days I felt like all I was doing was eating; but one week after surgery I had lost thirteen pounds and I was excited and rearing to go.
I want every one to know that is thinking about this surgery; or is getting ready for surgery that it is worth it, I can’t tell you that it was easy but I will tell you that it was worth it. In six months I have lost one hundred and forty three pounds and I feel so amazing. The women that I am now I never thought that I would get the chance to be.
Having a Gastric Bypass saved my life; and Dr. Belnap played a major roll that. I am so grateful for the new life that I have been given; I have already done things that I never thought that I would do. So just hang in there I know that you can do it, remember its not easy but it is worth every tear, every loud out burst and every frustration that you feel; because the feeling of that weight melting off is the most amazing feeling in the world. So keep your chin up and keep on keeping on! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What a Relief.....
I have been under a great deal of stress of the last couple of months; and I finally hit my first plateau. Mind you I wasn't really stressed out about it; I know that they are normal during any weight loss, but let me tell you that they are not fun. I went back to the basics, concentrating on getting in enough proteins and not getting too many carbohydrates; even though I only eat complex carbohydrates I get sick if I eat too many. Well after playing with the same six pounds for a month I got on the scale this weekend and I am down nine pounds, which puts me a two hundred and seventy nine pounds.
I am twenty seven weeks out from surgery and I am doing great, I have to be honest with you; I DID NOT THINK THAT I WOULD LOOSE THIS MUCH MY FIRST YEAR!!!!! I have a little over a hundred pounds left too loose and I am hoping to get as much of it off as possible. I love the new person that I am; I love the way that people look at me now, they look at me with pride and awe and it is an amazing feeling.
This was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made and I did not enter into it lightly; but I am glad that I had the surgery and that I chose to go to Dr. Belnap, he has given me a new lease on life and I am loving it. I am so grateful for the life that I am able to lead now; it wouldn't have been possible if I wouldn't have had a gastric bypass.
I am having a little bit of a problem but it isn't anything serious. My good cholesterol, is a little low but the doctor has put me on Niacin and has added whole grains to my diet. He also told me that exercise will help raise it back up as well. I've been a little light headed and dizzy lately and I am not sure why, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to talk to him about all that. I also have an appointment on the twenty forth of next month to have complete blood work done again to check my cholesterol and everything.
I see my surgery Saturday for my six month check up and I am excited to see him and talk to him. His staff is always telling me that I am there Star Patient and that they are so proud of me. I have been wanting this all my life and this is my one chance to take control of my life and take it back, and actually start to live!
I want to thank all of you for the hundredth time for all the love and support that you have shown me; this has been a hard and difficult road that I am on and it helps a lot to have such wonderful friends and family behind me. You give me strength to face each new challenge and your love keeps me standing tall.
I love you all!
I am twenty seven weeks out from surgery and I am doing great, I have to be honest with you; I DID NOT THINK THAT I WOULD LOOSE THIS MUCH MY FIRST YEAR!!!!! I have a little over a hundred pounds left too loose and I am hoping to get as much of it off as possible. I love the new person that I am; I love the way that people look at me now, they look at me with pride and awe and it is an amazing feeling.
This was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made and I did not enter into it lightly; but I am glad that I had the surgery and that I chose to go to Dr. Belnap, he has given me a new lease on life and I am loving it. I am so grateful for the life that I am able to lead now; it wouldn't have been possible if I wouldn't have had a gastric bypass.
I am having a little bit of a problem but it isn't anything serious. My good cholesterol, is a little low but the doctor has put me on Niacin and has added whole grains to my diet. He also told me that exercise will help raise it back up as well. I've been a little light headed and dizzy lately and I am not sure why, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to talk to him about all that. I also have an appointment on the twenty forth of next month to have complete blood work done again to check my cholesterol and everything.
I see my surgery Saturday for my six month check up and I am excited to see him and talk to him. His staff is always telling me that I am there Star Patient and that they are so proud of me. I have been wanting this all my life and this is my one chance to take control of my life and take it back, and actually start to live!
I want to thank all of you for the hundredth time for all the love and support that you have shown me; this has been a hard and difficult road that I am on and it helps a lot to have such wonderful friends and family behind me. You give me strength to face each new challenge and your love keeps me standing tall.
I love you all!
Monday, September 15, 2008
More Colorado Pictures!
This is my handsome boy, Anthony is so grown up! Before I always thought of his as the four year old little boy who went to Colorado to live, he defiantly is NOT a little boy anymore. I love him and he's a doll; Girls stay away from him, he can't date until he is 50!
Hallie had herself a good pout when we stopped to take pictures! She only wanted to ride with who ever would go the fastest and on the scariest trails. She is a dare devil like big brother A.J!
Me and Sadies just being silly, she is a sweet girl I wish every one could know her, she is wonderful!
This is Me and my friend Shandy, we have known each other for ever she adores the kids and the kids love her!
This is me on a four wheeler and I had a blast there was no getting me off it. I was really scared at first, but quickly got over it!
Pictures of My Trip to Colorado...
This is one of trails that Sadies my niece took me down while I was in Colorado, I live in Utah and I'm surrounded by the majestic beauty of the mountains, but I was still in awe at how pretty it is. My uncle Hyrums family owns this property!
This is but ONE of the stair cases that we took to get down to the suspension bridge!
This is the Colorado River, it runs directly behind there house; you can lay in bed and listen to its soothing rush!
A view of the Colorado river the above, I can't remember if this was from up by the house; or if it was from the mountain that we were four wheeling on. But I thought that it was beautiful.
This was the other stair case that we took to get down to the bridge and this one was a little difficult because the stairs were not evenly spaced, but I was enchanted!
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