I am still in Shock…..

The other day when my friend Stephanie text me and told me that the New Kids on the Block were doing a reunion album and tour; I was in shock they were one group I thought that when they broke up would never get back together. Things were bad in the end; but a part of me is kind of excited about the new album, seeing them in concert will probably not happen but the album will be nice to hear. It really brings back a lot of wonderful and fun memories!

Okay, I had to get that out of my system so that I could focus on my blog for the night. Well my wedding ring is now too big. I can’t wear it for the fear that it is going to fall off my finger. It is really annoying while you are trying to work when your ring sits and spins around in a circle. I love my wedding ring and I don’t want too loose it that would break my heart.

I have felt better that last two days than I have in a while, it is amazing the difference. I blogged and said the other day that the surgeon wanted me too add Iron to my diet and that the first time I added beef it made me sick. Well I have learned that if I fry it for spaghetti or tacos, I can eat it that way and it goes down easy and doesn’t make me sick. And since I have added more Iron to my diet water is starting to taste better. I would love to be able to drink something else besides water; but a lot of things make me sick to some stomach and besides that artificial sweeteners dry out my mouth and give me cotton mouth.

I think that later I am going to try to drink a Diet Pepsi or talk my hubby into sharing one with me. I can’t drink a whole one by my self; and I love diet Pepsi but I will not touch Diet Dr. Pepper YUCK!!!!! Nasty and vial stuff; if I am going to drink a DP it is going to be the real thing.

Wow I really don’t have a lot to say tonight; I feel great am doing better every day, oh yeah and I got a new position at work! I am going to be a gatherer; I am really excited about that I love doing gathers. It is only a class three job and I am a class 4 operator, but this will give me the opportunity to make better money than I have ever been able to make at Beehive. I just need to convince them that the machine I am on is now mine and have it adjusted to fit me not Susanna, I use it more than she does so I don’t understand why it needs to be set for her. It is going to be a good positive change.

Well I need to get finished with every thing so I can get up early in the morning and go to the gym; we are doing water aerobics and eight thirty in the morning. I tell you I love them and would do them every day of the week if there was a class available but there isn’t. So I will do them on the nights that they are available to me and then walk on the other nights with my husband. I do also like the exercise bikes at the gym also.

Well I am off for the night, I just want to thank you all for the hundredth time for all the love and support, it really means a lot too me. It is helping to keep me going; you are all greatest I have realized that I have some amazing friends that I didn’t realize that I had. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Love you all
Ronda Gardner

I Love Working Out….

Yes, you read that right; you are not going crazy. Last Saturday I went and joined Golds Gym and I am thoroughly enjoying working out. I can’t so much that that I like going out and just walking for the heck of it, but going to the gym is fun.

Last night my friend Laureen and I went to the gym and we did water aerobics and it was a blast! I loved it…. I have never had so much fun working out ever and I can’t wait to go again. The crazy thing is, I actually felt like I got a work out when I was done. I love them; I told my mom that her and my dad need to go with us. There were several men in our class, and I think that my dad would like it.

One more day and I get on the scale and I hope that I loose, I know that a lot of people say that once they hit so many weeks that they hit a plateau and I am really dreading it. I think that it will be very hard to not loose anything for a week of; but I think that if it happens that I will be able to handle it, it will just be hard. It is normal every one does it.

I know that I did it while I was going to Weight Watchers that there were several times that I would plateau and then I would have a big loss and get back on track.

All I know is that since I have lost seventy five pounds I feel like a new women. I feel great; I feel like I cold run a marathon physically, but I do not have the energy to do it. All though last night when I went to the Gym I did not feel like I was tired and I wanted to stay home and sleep; but I got up went to the gym and I worked out and I felt great. It woke me up and gave me energy. In fact this morning I had more energy than normal and I think that it was because I worked out last night.

Debbie, thank you for what you said in your comment. Trent and I have been having this argument for years, that I Sexy is a state of mind not a state of being. He tells me that I am sexy, I have a hard time believing it I don’t feel sexy.

I think that things are starting to look up for me and they are starting to get better. Now that I have added more iron to my diet it is helping me get my water in. I still feel dehydrated some times; especially while I am at work, but I am working on it. I will work through every challenge and it will only bring a better tomorrow and make me stronger.

I will continue to update everyone on the changes and how I am doing and feeling. This weekend I will have my dad take some more recent pictures of me so that I can put them on my blog. It is crazy the changes that my body is going through.

I want to thank all of you again for your support and all the love that you have given me. I know that it has helped to keep me strong through the hard times. You are all great, I love you all!

Thank You
Ronda Gardner

I Need To Add More Iron To My Diet…

I called the surgeons office today and talked to them because I haven’t been feeling very good and I have been having a hard time dealing with certain foods. I know that some of it is my body and the way that it just deals with certain foods. They told me that I will learn what I can eat and then stick to those foods for a while and then we can try again later to add different things.

I have a copper taste in my mouth and they told me that I need to add more Iron to my diet but not in the form of a pill; they want to me too add a little bit of ground beef to my diet, and they also told me to eat spinach because it is full of Iron. Well I tried some beef today and the nasty taste in my mouth isn’t as bad, but the ground beef didn’t it well with my stomach. So I think that I am going to have to take it very slowly; or try to chew it longer that might help.

I have been doing a lot of thinking that last little while, I am curious about how things are going to be I loose all my weight. I am curious if I am going to still have a Big Butt, smaller but still big. I wonder if I am going too loose my boobs or if they are going to stay the way they are. I haven’t lost anything in my chest yet and I am okay with that. I wonder when I loose my weight if my check bones are going to be pronounced; and what my face is going to look like, or if I am going to look the same.

There are just so many things that I am curious about, and I can’t wait to see what the end results are going to be. I was embarrassed the other day because one of my friend’s sons’s said that I was going to be hot. I have also been told that when I get my weight off that my husband is going to have to lock me up and never let me out of the house again. I don’t know that I would go that far!

I know that Mark can’t believe that changes that I have already under gone since having surgery. I know that right now I am almost twenty pounds light than I was the day that I got married. I would love to be able to try on the wedding dress that I worn again. I felt so pretty that day and I want to be able to feel like that every day of the year; I felt like a princess.

I know that things have been difficult for me the last little while but it is worth every thing that I have gone through. I have lost almost eighty pounds and I feel like a new woman; I feel great, it is so nice to not have a back ache and to have my knees not killing me. It is just amazing the changes that I have under gone in such a short time.

Thank you all for being patient with my ramblings and my crazy thoughts. I appreciate the love and support, thank you I love you all!

Love
Ronda Gardner

Random Thoughts…..

I have been thinking a lot the last week; and on top of trying to figure out I can and can’t eat with out getting sick I have been thinking about my friends. It is funny when certain things happen in your life you tend to learn who your real friends are.

I am that point right now; and it is a bit disheartening. I really miss my friends and was hoping to see them while I was convalescing but it didn’t happen. In fact I haven’t talked to some of them on weeks and I can’t get a hold of them. That is all right though because I have not only learned a lot about my self; but I have learned all about my friends as well.

It has just been hard because I was expecting to see certain of my friends after surgery and I am three weeks post off and I have not seen hid nor hear of them nor have I heard one single word from them. That is okay I am doing just fine with out any of them; I have seen Shandy and Stephanie since I came home and that was great. What more can I ask for?

I have had another bad day; I am having a hard time figuring out what I can and can’t eat. I am going to get it all worked out one of these days and then everything is going to be great. I have to tell you that I am looking forward to that day. I know that this is going to be a great thing, I just have to work through the first little bit of this diet and then things will get better. I know that they will.

I can’t complain because I feel better than I have felt in a long time, and that is saying a lot in its self. I FEEL GREAT!!!!!!! I can’t even beginning to imagine feeling any better than I do right at this moment. I can’t sit at work and sew and not limp all the way to the bathroom, I can walk with out being winded or out of breath. Those two things are great in and of them selves. I don’t think that I could ask for more.

Like I have discovered that I have made a lot of great friends over the last few months; and I am so grateful for all of them and what they have brought into my life. I know that every one come into your life for a reason; and that they bring something with them. I am so grateful for how rich my life is because of my friends; old and new and I am so grateful that they are all apart of my life. Thank you all for your continuing friendship and support; I appreciate everything that all of you have done. There is a song that every time I hear it, it makes me think of my friends. I am going to add the lyrics to the end of my blog. Thank you all!

Love
Ronda Gardner

“For Good” from the Broadway musical “Wicked”

(Elphaba) I'm limitedJust look at me
I'm limitedAnd just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do,
GlindaSo now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda) I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let themAnd we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetimeSo let me say before we part
So much of me Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the seaLike a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda) Because I knew you

(Both) I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

(Glinda) But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda) Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sunLike a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba) Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both) Who can say if I've been Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda) And because I knew you...

(Elphaba) Because I knew you...

(Both) Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

Feeling Extremely Fatigued…

Wow, I can not believe how tired I am, it is absolutely incredible. I did not thinking that it was impossible for some one to be this tired; but I am and I need to figure what I can do to make it better. I know that as of today I am three weeks post-op (yeah) and as of tomorrow I can start adding foods to my diet that are higher in protein and I think that might help.

I don’t feel like I am able to get a head of anything right now. One day I will do really good drinking all of my water and then the next day I fail miserably. I just keep thinking that this had better get easier; because today is one of those days that is making me regret having this surgery. Its like I told my self earlier that it is a little too late to go back now. I don’t that if I knew that it was going to be this hard that I would change my mind and not do it. I would still do it, but I think that would be a little more open minded about how difficult that it is going to be.

I guess that I should make it clear, I am glad that I had the surgery it is giving me a new lease on life. I feel better after loosing seventy one pounds than I have felt in a long time. I knew what I was getting my self into when I decided to have the surgery, I knew that it was going to be hard that it was going to be a big change. But my stomach is having a difficult time dealing with certain things. Like I can’t eat too early in the morning my stomach gets very upset. Some proteins make me a little queasy. I am have a VERY hard time drinking my water right now because I have a constant bad taste in my mouth.

I am trying to get used to the adjustments to my diet, and they are difficult ones. The one thing that I thought was going to be really hard was giving up sugar and chocolate. It has been the easiest thing that I have ever done. I have no desire to put any of it in my mouth. In fact artificial sweeteners make me sick to my stomach and I don’t even want those. So I think that I just need to slow down; try not to get farther than I am supposed to be right no and take it one day at a time. And for now on when I have questions I need to start calling my surgeon and asking questions.

I am trying really hard, I AM going to be a success story I am going to do great. This is my one chance to get my weight off and by damn I am going to do it if it kills me. There is no revision for me; this is a once in a life time opportunity and if it doesn’t work the first time who says it will work a second. It is going to work and I can’t wait for the world to meet the Real Ronda Gardner, the girl that has been hiding in side me for her entire life. It is going to be wonderful and I can’t wait to share this experience with all of you.

I love you and am so grateful for all that love and support that all of you have shown me it means that world to me. The love and prayers have been felt thank you all again from the bottom of my heart.

I love you all
Ronda Gardner

I Want To Sleep

Since I went back to work my butt is getting kicked. Man I can't believe how tired I am after four hours of work. Then one of my bundle handlers the other day said well Lauren came beck to work full time after two weeks. That made me made; because my friend Lauren was out for a month after her Gastric Bypass, and I told Darcus about it too, I did not appreciate it.

The diet and every thing is getting a little easier; except I have a very difficult time tolerating food first thing in the morning. So I think that I am going to have to adjust when I eat my meals. This way it will also give me the opportunity to get some water in first thing in the morning and I think that will help me feel better as well. I used to get up and eat breakfast at five thirty in the morning and it never bothered me; but not now it is too much.

I am still learning what my body needs and when it needs it; So I will start eating breakfast at work at eight forty five and I think that my also give me a little more energy to help me make it through my four hours at work.

My parents have been told about this stuff through Isogenics that will give me the nutrients that my body isn't getting from a lack of food. I am going to see if my surgeon will allow me to take it. You only have to drink an ounce a day so I don't see why it would be a problem.

Well I am going to keep this post short and will post more this afternoon when I get home from work. Thank you for the love and support and from reading some of my mad ramblings. I love you all!

Ronda Gardner

A Quick Post....

I went back to work today and I tried to work full time and it was too much. By Twelve o'clock I was ready to go home. So for the rest of the week I am going to work part time, I will go in at eight and work until noon. That will allow me to be home and help my father if he needs help. I will tell you that story in a bit.

I did better today the only problem that I have had is being tired. That is because I did too much; but everything is getting better. I have actually been able to tolerate sugar substitutes which makes things a little better, its helps me be able to put propel in my water to help me drink my water a little better.

Yesterday I thought that I had a bad day; my father had a worse day. I got a strange phone call from my fathers cell phone, but it wasn't my father. The man on the other end of the phone asked me who I was I told him that I was Ronda Gardner he told me that he had the wrong number. That right there sent red flags off, A wrong number on my fathers phone I started to worry. Well I call the club house and asked them if they could transfer me to the shop and they told me that my dad was out.

Well not even ten minutes later my mom called me and told me that my dad had, had a seizure at work and they were taking him to the hospital. she said that Jake called her and told her that he found my father laying face down in a huge puddle of blood. We are not sure that my dad had a Seizure, we are thinking that he black out and landed on his face. Well needless to say that my dad looks like he went face to face with Mike Tyson, he has two black eyes a huge bump on is forehead, his nose is swollen thy think that he may have broke the tip of his nose but they can 't do any thing for it, it will eventually heal on its own.

When he was at the hospital they checked his dilantin levels and they were down to three and that is dangerous. Instead of doing anything for him they sent him and told him to take two Dilantin when he got home. Well they were even in bed twenty minutes until he had a seizure, so my poor mother was up most of the night. It is hard to sleep when you wake up to your husband crying out because he is going into a seizure; I know my husband is Epileptic. Well I was getting ready to get up this morning for work and I was dragging a bit when all of a sudden I heard a big thump, and then some smaller thumps.

The first thing that crossed my mind was that my dad was having a seziure. Well he was and my mom didn't even notice, she thought that it was me slamming the door. We ended up having to call 911 and having an ambulance sent out. Well they decided to take him to the hospital; the Dr. at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center gave him a Dilantin IV and said that would up is levels.

They brought him home from the hospital and he slept most of the afternoon and did okay.
But they think that they discovered what depleted his levels, he has been doing the six week body make over, what ever its called and they think that the supplements that you take on the diet did it. He didn't have problems until he started taking them. So not only can my mom not do the diet because her doctor said no, neither can my father. I am sure that the diet is good; it just Inst good for them.

Well so that has been the last twenty four hours at house and no matter how horrible I feel my poor dad is worse. I love him and it really bothers me to see him weak like that, he is so vulnerable when he has a seizure.

Thank you all for reading my blog and for all the love and support that you have given me.
God Bless

Love
Ronda Gardner